Well, it’s one of many reasons, but it’s the most compelling reason for me tonight.
~~ deep and heavy stuff coming; if you’re not in a good place you may want to skip this one ~~
There’s something that’s been bothering me for the past week or so … well, more than that, ever since my silence.
You see, I feel like someone who has the cure for everything. Because this stuff here, the MKMMA, this IS the cure for everything. But it’s just like someone running around saying “I have the cure for everything”, especially when their own life isn’t perfect. No one believes it.
A friend of mine died today. I didn’t get the chance to tell my friend about how we manifest our lives, our illnesses, our troubles, and how we can heal ourselves. I don’t know what was going on in her life, why she became so ill, why she died so young from a disease that took her way too fast, abnormally fast, but today, she is dead.
And I can’t help but feel like what if I had shared this blog with her? What if I had told her about the MKMMA when I was considering it and she would have done this course? Would any of this have helped?
But I didn’t think to tell her and of course we’re on Facebook together and she probably saw my blog posts and didn’t read them. Or maybe with the way Facebook is she never saw them. And who knows? Maybe it really just was her time. But tonight I’m having a problem with that.
I am trying to accept this moment as it is, because the universe is as it should be. I can’t blame myself, and I surely can’t blame her. What good would it do? She has moved on, and maybe that’s all she really wanted, deep down. How could I blame someone for that? I never got to know her well enough to really know one way or the other what she really wanted, and that is another thing I regret, not being in her life enough to know she was dying until she was dying.
I feel sort of hesitant to share these things, because I don’t want to cause anyone pain, and I sort of wish I knew how to turn comments off, because I can just see the comments coming. I really am not blaming anyone, even a little bit — not her, not me, not anyone. But the law of attraction is a law just like the law of gravity. We attract what we intently focus on, and bring it into manifestation. She didn’t seem like someone who worried about her health, but I don’t know. If the law of attraction happened instantly like falling out of a ten story window I think people would believe it more. You wouldn’t blame someone for falling out of a window. But if you knew they might fall and didn’t do anything to warn them …?
If I can help someone, anyone, even just one person, it will be worth spending the time on this and putting my energy into guiding others through this course. Because honestly I don’t want to see any of my friends (or anyone else) manifest their own untimely deaths, whether consciously or unconsciously.
So I feel compelled to support this program in any way I can; it would be like having water in the desert, seeing people dying, and not telling them where it was. I am truly grateful that Mark and Davene trust me enough to allow me to help in this way.