might help


This week has gone well, and for my old blueprint, darkness tends to follow.

This time, I asked myself: Why should I feel this way when things are going well?

darknessThis month’s reading in The Greatest Salesman is about multiplying your own value. It makes the analogy of a wheat seed and how it multiplies from one to many seeds, which then multiply to many more. But in this, Og Mandino writes:

To grow and multiply it is necessary to plant the wheat grain in the darkness of the earth and my failures, my despairs, my ignorance, and my inabilities are the darkness in which I have been planted in order to ripen.

So darkness has value.

I’ve felt that darkness has value for a long time now. I feel as if much of the problems of the world are an attempt not to feel, not to think, to avoid the potentially dark areas in ourselves, as if they had some sort of power. But they only have power when ignored and suppressed, as far as I can tell.

I get the feeling that a lot of people – in and out of the Master Key Experience – are surprised or put off that one of the items on my DMP is a story which is so dark that I’ve seen people read the back cover, put it down, and walk away, saying, “I can’t read this.”

I admit, it’s not for everyone. But neither is it simply a wallow in darkness. I believe that stories have great power, and when you’re in darkness yourself having someone tell you, “see, there’s someone else here too” is a comfort that those who shy away from it will never be able to give. But you have to be willing and able to go there in order to help.

Darkness has its own beauty as well. The smallest bit of light becomes even brighter, and this is where the seed is transformed, reborn if you will, to become something it could never have been otherwise.

Do you think the seed is doing well? It’s doing what it was meant to do, becoming what it was intended to become.

I realized this week that asking why I might be in darkness when things are going well was the wrong question. The real question is: am I doing what I was meant to do? Am I becoming what I was intended to become? Am I breaking the hard crust of cement which has surrounded my life? If so, darkness might be exactly where I need to be right now. 🙂

Week 21: the real battle

Many people would tell you a real battle is around every corner: what person is going to be President, what laws are passed about this or that, what happens to which celebrity.

We can spend our whole lives in outrage about one injustice or another, talking about it, obsessing over it, worrying about it, and end our lives never having accomplished anything that really matters to us. Our dreams, our aspirations, the things that we were born to create and do. Making a positive change in the world, instead of focusing on (and I believe, manifesting more of) the negative.

If you’d like to spend your life in outrage, or worse, on fictional outrage (around the latest soap opera, or movie, etc), that’s fine. Somehow I doubt you’re that sort, though, as most people who end up here are looking to change their lives and do something for the better. In order to do that, though, you have to understand where the real battle is.

It’s not over what some person did to some other person.

It’s not what law was passed about whatever.

It’s not about what TV character did what.

It’s not even about who’s going to be President.

So what’s the real battle?

What does Haanel say?

The real battle of life is one of ideas; it is being fought out by the few against the many; on the one side is the constructive and creative thought, on the other side the destructive and negative thought; the creative thought is dominated by an ideal, the passive thought is dominated by appearances….

… all men will have to take their place on one side or the other; they will have to go forward, or go back; there is no standing still in a world where all is motion; it is this attempt to stand still that gives sanction and force to arbitrary and unequal codes of law.

Cause and effect.

The real battle is in your head: the battle of ideas. Will you fight to become the woman or man you were born to be, or will you continue to be what everyone tells you you’re supposed to be? Will you become a creative, positive, and constructive thinker, or will you stay with the majority crowd of passive negativity and be part of the problem, manifesting the destructiveness we see around us every day?

It’s totally up to you.

It’s the most difficult fight you’ll ever face, what seems to be bucking the outer world, but in reality, you’re just battling to connect with your inner world and the might of the entire universe behind it.

Haanel makes the analogy of touching a live wire, but that didn’t seem like a very beneficial thing to me (having done so in the past and not enjoying it much). But the other day these couple of sentences from the Master Keys jumped out at me (thanks, subby!):

…Omnipotence itself is absolute silence, all else is change, activity, limitation. Silent thought concentration is therefore the true method of reaching, awakening, and then expressing the wonderful potential power or the world within.

shift-868980_640For some reason, this reminded me of when I first learned to drive. I was learning on a stick shift (manual transmission) and my engineer then-boyfriend (now husband) told me that the way it worked was:

  • the engine had a plate which was spinning – but if you do nothing, nothing will happen.
  • the drive train had another plate which was also spinning – also, if you do nothing, nothing will happen.
  • the clutch and gas pedals served to get those two plates spinning at the same speed then put them together so the power of the engine could be passed along to run the wheels. Then the car will move!

Whether this is exactly right doesn’t matter. What does matter is the concept of two different things coming together at the same speed, allowing the power of one to be transferred to the other.

So what does that quote up there tell us? That Omnipotence (or the universe, or God, or whatever you want to call it) is running at absolute silence. Like those two plates, we have to get ourselves to the same place as the universe is in order to connect, so the power can be passed along to us.

You can call this whatever you want. Some call this prayer, some call it meditation, it really does not matter. The world tells us, of course, that every word and label is vitally important and that we should be outraged about it, and fight and worry and fuss, and protest and feel persecution about it if others want to call it something else.

(Not much silence there.)

So do you have to get religion? Not at all. You just have to get quiet.

Now, that’s a real battle in and of itself! Between the TV and the cell phone and the family and the job and all the zillion things everyone tells you that you should be doing, finding a few moments for yourself can feel insurmountable. Then when we do get some time, we avoid silence, avoid thinking, by going on Facebook or Twitter or Netflix.

Am I right?

Here’s what you can do: when you have the urge to do something you know will waste time, instead, take 5 minutes of this (you can get a timer if you want), go somewhere quiet, and just sit.

You’ll be ahead of 99.99999999999% of the world who does not ever just sit and be quiet for 5 minutes.

And watch the fireworks begin.

Because your old programming and everyone associated with it HATES when you do this. You’ll find every reason in the book not to. You’re really getting something done when you post pictures of cats on Facebook! People will think you’re weird! Blah blah blah.

That’s why it’s a battle 🙂

But this battle for yourself is certainly worth it! And you’ll be taking a tiny baby step into learning more about who you are, who this Universe thing is, and if you’re very quiet, the two of you might even connect. How cool is that?

Let me know what you discover.

Week 19: overcoming fear

This week we got a few tips from Mark J on overcoming fear, which I found particularly relevant right now.

Haanel also talks about overcoming fear in the preface to Part 19. I never really understood why he did this, or what it had to do with the rest of Part 19. Until today, it seemed random.

Later, Haanel writes:

In seeking the truth we are seeking ultimate cause; we know that every human experience is an effect; then if we may ascertain the cause, and if we shall find that this cause is one which we can consciously control, the effect or the experience will be within our control also.

It occurred to me this morning that fear, rather than being a cause, is an effect.

Now, I’ve talked about causes and effects before, because that’s what this class really is about: determining the effects we want (our DMP and PPNs) then understanding the causes and how to produce them so we get those effects (or results).

So why am I finding all this fear-overcoming stuff so relevant? I mean, I’m a Certified Guide in the Master Key Experience! I have a big S on my chest and a cape and everything. 😉

(if you believe that, I also have a bridge to sell you … on sale, today only!)

But in my old blueprint, I’m a big fat fear-bucket, and the old blueprint must be where this is coming from. Because my future self, my true golden self, is afraid of nothing.

Now, when I watched the video this week where Mark went over the fear-curing tips, it also occurred to me that I have had those tips for a full year now. I have no excuse. And the question came up again this morning: So why have I not been using them?

Here are some ideas I came up with:

  • was fighting fear with those simple tips straying too far from my old blueprint?
  • was there something inside that wanted to keep life safe within those old boundaries? (even if that doesn’t serve me anymore?)

I felt as if I was getting somewhere. So I began to write out my fears:fear-1027574_640

  • it’s all too big; I can’t change
  • I will change and lose who I am. Which is silly, if you think about it: I’m trying to become my true self; by definition, this IS who I am – who I was meant to/made to be, who I used to be before people told me I wasn’t. This is why we love babies so much, by the way, because they are their true authentic selves.
  • I’ll get dragged back into an abusive situation if I don’t keep my guard up

There is a whole lot of backstory into that last one, involving every kind of abuse basically since I was born, 14 years in a high-maintenance fundamentalist so-called “Christian” cult, and so on. Because of that, even now, 10+ years out of that situation, I’m very very wary of anything labelled “spiritual”, any kind of hierarchy, anything using Scriptures, or any kind of situation where one person has control over a lot of others, where they’re applying pressure or influence to coerce others to do things in the name of “spiritual growth”.

But I haven’t trusted my subby’s power of discernment. I haven’t trusted my own growth or my ability to thrive without my old blueprint to compel me. I haven’t understood (or believed in) my own power. As Haanel states in the preface:

…the way to overcome fear is to become conscious of power.

What is this power?

You may know that thought constantly, eternally is taking form, is forever seeking expression, or you may not, but the fact remains that if your thought is powerful, constructive, and positive, this will be plainly evident in the state of your health, your business and your environment; if your thought is weak, critical, destructive and negative generally, it will manifest in your body as fear, worry and nervousness, in your finance as lack and limitation, and in discordant conditions in our environment.

Our power, our birthright if you will, is to use our thoughts to change our environments. As far as we know, animals don’t do this (with the exception of creatures such as ants, bees, wasps, etc, who create their own homes out of nothing, and possibly the burrowing animals such as rabbits).

So what does that quote tell us? That our thoughts are the cause. Once we become conscious of the power to control our thoughts, and gain the ability to do so, we have the power of overcoming fear.

The 7 Day mental diet is as good a place as any to begin.

Week 4 – how do you want to feel?

10273430_10152211471133366_7187797986126513386_nI’ve been reading a book lately which has really made an impact.

I’m not going to share the name of it right now because this is the week where everyone gets sidetracked on reading other stuff and doing other stuff … and I’m not going to be part of contributing to that.

But what I’ve gotten out of it so far is very much like what we’re doing here in the Master Key class, but coming at it in a different direction.

In week 2 you get a couple of sheets which I have tacked up on my wall: Seven Laws of the Mind. One of them is called the Law of Dual Thought:

Thought is a combination of ideation and feeling. We can attach any feeling to a thought we want.

The reason why I mention this is that the book I’m reading is all about the question, “How do you want to feel?”

I believe that most of the problems in this world are an attempt not to feel. Most of the business of refusing the call is an attempt not to feel, whether it’s not to feel

  • shame at failing (because in your particular old blueprint you always fail)
  • guilt at wanting something for yourself instead of others (this is very common in women)
  • fear that your feelings will overwhelm you or make you less of a person (very common in men)

or whatever your issue is.

Feelings are what makes us human. When we can’t identify how we want to feel or deny the fact that we do feel, we cut ourselves off from the rest of humanity, worse yet, from the source of life within us (whatever you want to call it: the Universe, God, etc). We begin to die inside.

So we need to feel: the good, the bad, the ugly.

The sit is good for that, which is why so many avoid it, find problems with it, don’t have time for it, would rather do anything else but it. Sitting, alone, in silence, not moving, you’re forced to deal with yourself. Who you are. What you feel.

And I think it’s this more than anything else which makes grown up people throw tantrums and flounce away from changing their life. They are SO afraid to feel.

Hopefully, if you’ve gotten this far you’re at least beginning to get past that. So I’ll ask you: how do you want to feel?

I found this question very helpful. Even though I did the course last year and I’m a guide now…

(and released from supervision, woo hoo!)

(still love you Dayna! but I’m excited to be making progress)

… I have gone round and round with my PPNs (personal pivotal needs). But reading about the question of how I want to feel, and how others want to feel brought me up against:

I want to feel like I matter.

Which is the definition of Legacy! Which is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but reading that made it click for me. Now my DMP makes much more sense.

So if you’re having trouble with your PPNs or your DMP, think about what you want to feel!

I know you’re scared.

I know you’re scared. I was too.

You think it must be a scam. That did cross my mind too.

You’re worried you might fail. Yep. Me too.

You are afraid of the ‘pay it forward’, because you’re broke, or in debt, or just don’t trust that this isn’t just another way to get you to buy something. I get you.

You’re worried it’s just a religious thing, or not religious enough, or you’re going to get pressured or coerced to do something you don’t want to do. I didn’t actually write about that, but those things did cross my mind as well. You see, I was a Christian lay minister for 14 years, but I was also a survivor of some pretty nasty spiritual mind control stuff. So I get leery of anyone telling me they got ‘the truth’ about something.

But these people aren’t interested in telling you ‘the truth’. They’re interested in helping you find YOUR truth. Mark’s favorite saying is “the best influence is NO influence”. I didn’t find anything in the course which went against any religion, yet it certainly wasn’t shoving any religion down my throat. Most people from a religious background find that this course helps them understand the basis behind their religion so much more. I know it did with me.

If you’ve been following this blog, you know that I signed up to be a Guide for this year’s course. We’ve been doing weekly classes to help us guide you through the course. I guess I’ll get 15 people to work with.

They told us we were going to get a ‘final exam’ a few weeks ago, and I think this last Sunday was it: they sent us a bunch of sample homework assignments to look over and revise, to see if we were understanding what to do to help you.

We got one where the guy was basically in despair. There was one phrase in everything he wrote which could even be construed as slightly positive. It was heartbreaking.

So I thought, this guy’s pretty brave. Not many men would just spill like that. Then I thought, okay, let’s take that one positive phrase, encourage him on that, and see where we can take it.

Later, my staff member Dayna (we’re supervised until they are dead sure we know what we’re doing, which is wonderful) said I did good. And then she said those were real people’s first tries at finding their purpose.

Wow, I thought. I asked “what happened to that guy? Did he finish the course?”

She said, “He’s one of the guides”.

Now, you can’t be a guide unless you:

  1. finish the whole course
  2. actually are using the course (not just checking the boxes), which is easy to see in what’s going on in the person’s life: they are manifesting their dreams, making a difference in the world around them, their families, everything
  3. take the guides training and pass that

I was blown away. I tell you this to say that no matter how bad off you are, no matter how badly in debt you are, no matter how awful you feel about yourself, this will help you, assuming you do the work.

If you’re like most people and are scared to death, it’s okay. The difference between those who stay being scared and never get what they want and those who do get what they want is one thing: action. Go here, leave your email (a good one: it’s how they track scholarships), watch the videos and the Q&A session, and get in the course. They are closing it Monday night, and you need some time to get the things together you need in order to fill out the application.

Don’t wait. I don’t want you to be regretting it for the whole rest of the year that you didn’t do what you needed to do now.

Looking forward to seeing what you do on your own journey.



My Master Key Experience

I’ve been asked to give a short review of the Master Key Experience. That’s difficult for me, because I have gotten so much out of this course that I’m having trouble keeping it short.

Bottom line: I feel this is something everyone should do. It should be taught in schools, in churches, in the halls of government. I feel that if it were, this world would be a much better place. People would become themselves, instead of feeling as if they have to pretend to be a copy of everyone else.

(Okay, I’ve already gone over the 300 word limit. You can read this if you want more about how it’s affected me personally, and I’ll write more on this blog too. Sign up for my list if you want to know when I do.)

Like anything, there are pros and cons. I always like to give the bad news first, so here we go.


  • It will take some time out of your schedule: maybe ten minutes three times a day, then fifteen minutes once a day, then once a week, a 2 hour webinar (and I think they’re adding another 2 hour webinar once every week or so to help you with understanding blogging and social media, but don’t quote me on that). So 9 hours a week for 26 weeks. You can do more if you want, but that’s the requirement to keep your scholarship.
  • You’ll have to buy supplies: colored pencils, index cards, a few binders, and you’ll be asked if you did on your application. The whole thing cost me less than twenty bucks. Plus it’s a dollar to apply for the scholarship.
  • You end up printing out a lot of stuff: the workbook, the lessons, and some visual aids. You’ll need access to a printer and some printing supplies, but not until the first week or so, after you’ve been accepted.

Pros (if you do the work):

  • Your life will change for the better — you’ll be able to handle situations, people, and events like you never imagined you could.
  • You’ll end up with much more of what you want and much less of what you don’t want in your life. And you’ll know how to keep that process going for the rest of your life.
  • You’ll feel so much better in every way: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I’ve had breakthroughs in my life that have completely amazed me and my family.

My recommendation, as someone who’s finished the course: do this. Go for it! You have nothing to lose. 🙂


Week 13: knowledge vs certainty

For the past few weeks it has felt at first as if the reading in the Master Keys was basically saying the same thing over and over. And then, of course, as I approach the end of the week I realize something that amazes me and totally makes me look at things differently.

I’m not sure how I got my mind onto the track that it went in, but I thought of something Mark said in the webinar on Sunday: it’s what you learn after you know it all that makes the difference”.

And then I thought of the people who every week seem intent on changing something in the readings: it’s too violent, it’s too wordy, it’s not religious enough, it’s too religious, and on and on.

A lot of those people end up dropping out, and I think the reason why is that they feel that they know it all and don’t need to sit with the material and see where in their old blueprint this rebellion is coming from and what it’s triggering in them.

Most times, when something jumps out at me like this it’s because it’s something I need to look at in myself. So I thought about this for a while and remembered a part a week or so ago where it talked about the various “fabrications”, as Haanel puts it, of the Law of Attraction, things like seances and such. He might put the current “The Secret” fad into that as well, but I haven’t watched it so I don’t know.

What I got out of that section at the time was that the motivation was off in each of these: the purpose was either manipulation or self-aggrandizement, rather than to find your true dream and calling with a focus on giving first, then receiving.

Haanel continually says: knowledge will not apply itself, and at first glance this seems really truly obvious. I mean, you wouldn’t hire a brain surgeon who had only read (ie, had knowledge) about how to do brain surgery. You’d want someone who had done it so many times he was certain of how it would go, certain of his or her capabilities.

But when you’re talking about the inside of your own head, it gets a bit more tricky than that.

Because you want to believe that you know what’s right for you, and ALL of that is coming straight from your old blueprint, who KNOWS that this is too violent or too wordy or too religious or not religious enough, and so on. Or, as I found out in my case, “knowing” that I had to figure out how I was going to do something in order to feel good about it, which this week totally backfired.

Last week I went ahead in full faith and signed up for the conferences in Hawaii and the hotel. At this point I did not have the money, and the only things I could think of to get the money involved depleting my current resources. But I signed up anyway, putting it on my credit card (because I knew that would work even though it wasn’t ideal but I was afraid I wouldn’t get to go), and I’ve had this on and off anxiety about it, even though if I talked to my husband about it he would probably be ok with paying for part if not all of it.

I’ve tried to make the anxiety go away, even trying something someone mentioned on the forums, which was adding “healthy and wealthy” to this one affirmation we have been doing, instead of trusting the text that the original affirmation was all that was needed.

So after the webinar I went to the store to get some things for the class, and when I went to pay, the guy behind the register said that my card was declined.

It was our joint sapphire Chase credit card with a huge credit limit. There was no way that the card was declined for buying a pack of index cards. But for a second, I panicked.

It was just that the guy typed in the last 4 numbers on my card wrong, but it really shook me up, and it took me about a half hour to feel right again.

I KNEW my card was perfectly fine. But deep down, for just a second, I was CERTAIN something had gone horribly wrong.

Why? Because my old blueprint is full of not very nice things, such as low self-esteem (you don’t deserve your dream), fear, and shame. And in that second, all the nonsense that I had been doing because I KNEW that the ONLY way to pay for the trip was for me to put it on my credit card when I didn’t have the funds at present (which breaks one of my personal rules, as I pay my card off every month) … all that came back to bite me. And although it was just for a second, it was a hard bite.

I now realize that I tried to shove the universe out of the way (because I knew the right way to do things), then added to an affirmation precisely in order to manipulate the universe into rubber-stamping my plan. I did all this out of fear, not calm, so what I was telling my subby was “fear, debt, credit cards, break your personal rules, fear”.

And what is a worse feeling (financial-wise) than having your card declined in a store with a line of people behind you the week before Christmas?

So be careful when you think you know how to do something (especially when someone is trying to teach you something that you said you wanted to learn). It’s what you learn after you think you know best that will make the difference, because it will be painful, and you won’t forget it soon. 🙂

How does understanding this help?

Because it works the other way round too. When you are certain of your connection with the Universe then you don’t muck about trying to move the immovable force. You clearly visualize what you want to get the mountain moving, and then you get the heck out of the way.

This week, Haanel has been trying to get us to be certain of this connection, through the daily sits. For me, it’s just been flashes here and there. But it’s a start. 🙂

Week 11: what’s in your cart?

This week, we’re supposed to meditate upon Mark 11:24 —

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

This at first was difficult for me on a few levels, and a few months ago I probably wouldn’t even have wanted to have anything to do with it for several reasons which aren’t pertinent here. This is the first time there’s really been any religious stuff in there that we couldn’t avoid. So before I did the first sit of this week, I sort of struggled with having to spend a week on this.

But something else that was in the Study Questions was helpful:

We are to believe that our desire has already been fulfilled; its accomplishment will then follow.

And while I was sitting, I was thinking about the application of the thought, and I came up with an analogy that you might find helpful.

When you go to the grocery store, for example, you might go to the store and stand at the deli counter and maybe ask for some cole slaw or some sliced cheese, or my favorite, potato wedges. (otherwise known as home fries, basically a potato cut into wedges lengthwise, seasoned, and fried)

Potato wedges! Mmmm 😀

So you tell the lady that you want a pound of potato wedges, and she starts putting them into a bag to weigh them.

You aren’t eating them, you haven’t paid for them, you don’t have them in your cart, and she doesn’t even have them all in the bag yet, but at this point you feel that they are YOURS. If someone was to go and snatch that bag away from the lady and give it to someone else, you would feel a sense of outrage: how dare you take my potato wedges!

It’s the same way with what you’re asking the Universe for. You don’t in any way actually have possession of what you want yet, but you have laid claim to it just as surely as you did with the potato wedges or with the things you put in your cart at the grocery store.

Something to think about is: what is in your cart?

In other words, what do you believe that you already have, because the Universe is putting it into your bag right now? What do you believe your future is like?

Do you even have a shopping list? Did you ever have one, way back when you were a child?

What was your burning desire, your dream that you would do anything to have?

Where is it now? What happened to your dreams?

Did you give up your dreams because you thought they were going to cost too much, or other people said they would be unrealistic, or you don’t feel you’re good enough to have them — and put some crappy life of poverty and fear into your cart instead?

Something worth thinking about, because you are spending the one life you have on what you have put in that cart of yours, so you might want to make sure it’s something you want. 🙂


Week 8: the power of decision


This week, we’ve been asked to think of a real battleship, sitting there in the water, and how it came to be.

So at first I thought of the actual parts, how they had to be ordered, and shipped there, and how men had to be employed to construct the ship. But before that, the parts had to be made in factories, and those factories had to have supplies, and those supplies had to come from somewhere:

  • steel for the hull, the guns, the decks, the railings, kitchens, plumbing, fuel/water/waste tanks, and so on
  • food for the men had to be grown and converted for long-term storage
  • fuel for the ship had to be pumped and refined
  • electronics had to be assembled out of all the rare elements that such things require
  • plastics had to be formed
  • perhaps wood had to be shaped for various parts
  • bedding, mattresses and pillows for the men had to be created from cotton, and so on
  • and of course these things came from the earth itself

But before any that was required, someone had to design the ship, someone with a passion for designing battleships. This person had to know what was needed, how to make it all fit together, and how to draft a set of many blueprints that the builder could use for building the ship itself.

And how did any of these people know what to do? They each had training from teachers, from history, from experience. Each of these different lines of production and thought could be imagined as a web streaming back into the first men and women who observed that logs float, or that drying food allowed it to be stored safely for later.

But someone had to commission the architect to design the ship, and others had to see the need for its creation. Who were these men and women? Master strategists in the military, reporting to the Secretary of Defense, who saw that a battleship would fill a gap in their grand plans. They may not have even been on a battleship before (I’m not sure about all that), but their minds envisioned this battleship long before it ever came to be.

And of course, they each had training, experience, and knowledge of history.

But today I want to talk about choice and decision.

If you look back at the roots for each word, you see that they mean slightly different things. The root for choice comes from a French word meaning to perceive. The root for decision comes from a Latin word meaning to cut off.

At each step in the production of this battleship, there were many choices: what color to make a certain area, which suppliers to use, what size would be best for a certain sheet of metal.

But at some point, a decision was made, and this is how the battleship came to be. The battleship is real; it sits there before us. Therefore real decisions were made: first, to commission it, then to design it, then to build it.

Think about a decision you’ve made in your life. Perhaps you decided to go into a certain career, or to move to a different house, or to buy a particular car.

That moment when you decided YES I will do this action, you instantly CUT OFF all other possible actions. If you decide to move to Canada, you can’t also decide to move to Peru. You might make a later decision to move to Peru, or to buy a home there, but you can’t move both places at the same time.

You must decide before it can happen.

Think of a decision you really made, that really happened in real life. Remember the FEELING you had when you made whatever decision you made. This is important.

I believe that this act of deciding does something inside you, something physiological, that sets your subby into motion. You have decided: it’s going to happen; there is nothing anyone can say or do about it; the universe can either help or get out of your way.

This is, I feel, the most important thing in the world. Nothing happens without a decision. You would not be here without many decisions being made. You would not be who you are without many more decisions being made, by both yourself and many others who raised and sheltered you.

But what I find most pertinent to this course is that I need to have the same attitude towards my DMP (Definite Major Purpose, aka WHAT DO I WANT?). I must decide that this will happen, and there is nothing anyone can say or do about it, and the universe can either help or get out of the way.

Or else change it to what I really do want. But until I decide, nothing will happen, and that, I think, is why some people do this exercise and fail to get what they say they want. Like the person who waffles about where to live, they are waffling about what they want in their heart of hearts. They never decided.

Week 7: a breakthrough

I wrote this in the “Insights” section of the MKMMA forums just now:

I had a major breakthrough today while sitting. I have had a lot of trouble visualizing what I wanted, and not been able to FEEL what it might be like until today.

I tried picturing a couple I have just recently become acquainted with, we were where we last hung out together, at an outdoor concert, and I imagined the wife asking me what going to Hawaii was like. Suddenly I could picture it all — my toes in the sand around a fire, seeing the ocean, getting to hug Mark J and Davene and all of you. It was overwhelming and I had to stop the timer a couple times because tears of happiness just came out so much.

I was able to visualize seeing my friends’ son graduate (he’s at Chaminade, which is why I was going to Hawaii in the first place), but then also to visualize publishing my novel, getting on the NYT best seller list, and other travels. I was even able to visualize going through the TSA line (which has been a phobia) and giving Avon books to the workers and them being happy and joyful about it!

I can’t tell you how overwhelmingly grateful I am for this course. If you are struggling PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I know you probably by this time feel negative coming here and seeing others succeed where you haven’t yet because that’s how I felt. But it will happen and it will be SO worth it. 🙂

Which is exactly how I feel (and more). I cried for about ten minutes after I wrote that, but they were totally tears of happiness and gratitude.

Something has happened inside me, and whatever it is, it’s a great thing.