For the past few weeks it has felt at first as if the reading in the Master Keys was basically saying the same thing over and over. And then, of course, as I approach the end of the week I realize something that amazes me and totally makes me look at things differently.
I’m not sure how I got my mind onto the track that it went in, but I thought of something Mark said in the webinar on Sunday: it’s what you learn after you know it all that makes the difference”.
And then I thought of the people who every week seem intent on changing something in the readings: it’s too violent, it’s too wordy, it’s not religious enough, it’s too religious, and on and on.
A lot of those people end up dropping out, and I think the reason why is that they feel that they know it all and don’t need to sit with the material and see where in their old blueprint this rebellion is coming from and what it’s triggering in them.
Most times, when something jumps out at me like this it’s because it’s something I need to look at in myself. So I thought about this for a while and remembered a part a week or so ago where it talked about the various “fabrications”, as Haanel puts it, of the Law of Attraction, things like seances and such. He might put the current “The Secret” fad into that as well, but I haven’t watched it so I don’t know.
What I got out of that section at the time was that the motivation was off in each of these: the purpose was either manipulation or self-aggrandizement, rather than to find your true dream and calling with a focus on giving first, then receiving.
Haanel continually says: knowledge will not apply itself, and at first glance this seems really truly obvious. I mean, you wouldn’t hire a brain surgeon who had only read (ie, had knowledge) about how to do brain surgery. You’d want someone who had done it so many times he was certain of how it would go, certain of his or her capabilities.
But when you’re talking about the inside of your own head, it gets a bit more tricky than that.
Because you want to believe that you know what’s right for you, and ALL of that is coming straight from your old blueprint, who KNOWS that this is too violent or too wordy or too religious or not religious enough, and so on. Or, as I found out in my case, “knowing” that I had to figure out how I was going to do something in order to feel good about it, which this week totally backfired.
Last week I went ahead in full faith and signed up for the conferences in Hawaii and the hotel. At this point I did not have the money, and the only things I could think of to get the money involved depleting my current resources. But I signed up anyway, putting it on my credit card (because I knew that would work even though it wasn’t ideal but I was afraid I wouldn’t get to go), and I’ve had this on and off anxiety about it, even though if I talked to my husband about it he would probably be ok with paying for part if not all of it.
I’ve tried to make the anxiety go away, even trying something someone mentioned on the forums, which was adding “healthy and wealthy” to this one affirmation we have been doing, instead of trusting the text that the original affirmation was all that was needed.
So after the webinar I went to the store to get some things for the class, and when I went to pay, the guy behind the register said that my card was declined.
It was our joint sapphire Chase credit card with a huge credit limit. There was no way that the card was declined for buying a pack of index cards. But for a second, I panicked.
It was just that the guy typed in the last 4 numbers on my card wrong, but it really shook me up, and it took me about a half hour to feel right again.
I KNEW my card was perfectly fine. But deep down, for just a second, I was CERTAIN something had gone horribly wrong.
Why? Because my old blueprint is full of not very nice things, such as low self-esteem (you don’t deserve your dream), fear, and shame. And in that second, all the nonsense that I had been doing because I KNEW that the ONLY way to pay for the trip was for me to put it on my credit card when I didn’t have the funds at present (which breaks one of my personal rules, as I pay my card off every month) … all that came back to bite me. And although it was just for a second, it was a hard bite.
I now realize that I tried to shove the universe out of the way (because I knew the right way to do things), then added to an affirmation precisely in order to manipulate the universe into rubber-stamping my plan. I did all this out of fear, not calm, so what I was telling my subby was “fear, debt, credit cards, break your personal rules, fear”.
And what is a worse feeling (financial-wise) than having your card declined in a store with a line of people behind you the week before Christmas?
So be careful when you think you know how to do something (especially when someone is trying to teach you something that you said you wanted to learn). It’s what you learn after you think you know best that will make the difference, because it will be painful, and you won’t forget it soon. 🙂
How does understanding this help?
Because it works the other way round too. When you are certain of your connection with the Universe then you don’t muck about trying to move the immovable force. You clearly visualize what you want to get the mountain moving, and then you get the heck out of the way.
This week, Haanel has been trying to get us to be certain of this connection, through the daily sits. For me, it’s just been flashes here and there. But it’s a start. 🙂