real life examples

Why I’m becoming a guide

Well, it’s one of many reasons, but it’s the most compelling reason for me tonight.

~~ deep and heavy stuff coming; if you’re not in a good place you may want to skip this one ~~

There’s something that’s been bothering me for the past week or so … well, more than that, ever since my silence.

You see, I feel like someone who has the cure for everything. Because this stuff here, the MKMMA, this IS the cure for everything. But it’s just like someone running around saying “I have the cure for everything”, especially when their own life isn’t perfect. No one believes it.

A friend of mine died today. I didn’t get the chance to tell my friend about how we manifest our lives, our illnesses, our troubles, and how we can heal ourselves. I don’t know what was going on in her life, why she became so ill, why she died so young from a disease that took her way too fast, abnormally fast, but today, she is dead.

And I can’t help but feel like what if I had shared this blog with her? What if I had told her about the MKMMA when I was considering it and she would have done this course? Would any of this have helped?

But I didn’t think to tell her and of course we’re on Facebook together and she probably saw my blog posts and didn’t read them. Or maybe with the way Facebook is she never saw them. And who knows? Maybe it really just was her time. But tonight I’m having a problem with that.

I am trying to accept this moment as it is, because the universe is as it should be. I can’t blame myself, and I surely can’t blame her. What good would it do? She has moved on, and maybe that’s all she really wanted, deep down. How could I blame someone for that? I never got to know her well enough to really know one way or the other what she really wanted, and that is another thing I regret, not being in her life enough to know she was dying until she was dying.

I feel sort of hesitant to share these things, because I don’t want to cause anyone pain, and I sort of wish I knew how to turn comments off, because I can just see the comments coming. I really am not blaming anyone, even a little bit — not her, not me, not anyone. But the law of attraction is a law just like the law of gravity. We attract what we intently focus on, and bring it into manifestation. She didn’t seem like someone who worried about her health, but I don’t know. If the law of attraction happened instantly like falling out of a ten story window I think people would believe it more. You wouldn’t blame someone for falling out of a window. But if you knew they might fall and didn’t do anything to warn them …?

If I can help someone, anyone, even just one person, it will be worth spending the time on this and putting my energy into guiding others through this course. Because honestly I don’t want to see any of my friends (or anyone else) manifest their own untimely deaths, whether consciously or unconsciously.

So I feel compelled to support this program in any way I can; it would be like having water in the desert, seeing people dying, and not telling them where it was. I am truly grateful that Mark and Davene trust me enough to allow me to help in this way.



Well, I’m back.



I have felt a bit more like Bilbo than Sam these past three weeks (each time, while off to my next adventure!) but right now, I do feel a bit like Sam must have felt as I try to convey what my trip was like (no trips to Mordor, although I did see a volcano!).

How do you write about three weeks of amazing things?

Especially the MKMMA and Go90Grow live events — they were the sort of thing where you really had to be there to understand and appreciate it, especially if you didn’t take the courses yourself.

Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if even this blog is comprehensible to someone who didn’t do the MKMMA.

But hey, I’m just doing what they asked me to do 😉

(sorry I got so behind — I forgot the password to the site, and I was on my phone, which made it even harder. I will do better next time.)

I got home yesterday and proceeded to sleep for 18 hours, and I’m still a bit jet-lagged. But I did want to touch base with all of you. If you want to sign up for my list, you’ll get notified when I write a new post!


Open to life

I’ve been working my way along, getting all the zillions of things done I need to do before I leave on the 26th … well, it’s not really zillions, but sometimes it feels that way. It’s a whole sheet of paper and I have just three or four things to go (although some are multi-day projects). I’m really astonished at how much I’m able to get done without feeling stressed about it.

The other great thing that’s been happening now is that I’m much better with trying new things. I used to be so afraid to try new things, or I would try (ie. buy) new things which had nothing to do with what I really wanted to do and so were going to cost me money that would end up being wasted.

I’ve taken to heart a quote:


Today I ran across an amazing opportunity doing something that a year ago I would have said no to, even though it’s exactly the sort of thing I need to be doing, because I wouldn’t have thought I was good enough to do it. But today I said YES! and it’s going to be awesome.

(And I even know how to do it! Now it’s just a matter of figuring out the details.)

An opportunity to give without expectation of reciprocity (and even better, there will be a small fee for doing this which will cover my hotel while I’m there, yippee!).

More on that another time.

Here’s another example: I’ve been experimenting with scheduling posts on WordPress, over at my blog The Beautiful Hand, then sending them to Facebook and such. Some are going through with all the photos and links perfect — and others aren’t … no title, no photo, just a shortened link. No one’s going to click on that! It’s sort of a bummer in a way, but it’s still an interesting experiment to see what happens. And it can help my business, and maybe even bring in some cash. Who knows?

I feel as if my whole attitude about these things has changed from fearful to fun, from avoiding life to finding it an adventure.

Oh, I have to share this with you. Remember how my husband was so suspicious of the MKMMA course? Well, the other day he tells me he likes it and gives all these reasons why.


I’m finding this whole thing very exciting.

Something my son said yesterday bugged me: that I was “lucky” to be able to go to Hawaii.

Luck does not come into it at all, and I told him that.

That first week of sits. The process (I was going to write ordeal, but it really wasn’t) of getting my DMP done (actually, I sent in another iteration of it the other day — it’s a work in progress for sure). Sticking to the 7 day mental diet. A hundred little decisions to stop thinking my old crappy way was the best way and let these people help me!

I am going to Hawaii because it was something I have wanted to do for most of my life,  I decided I was going to, and even though I didn’t have the money for it when I decided to do it, it’s all coming together. That is an example of going by intention rather than methods (something taught early on in the course, which is easy to grasp intellectually but more difficult to understand, and I’m only now starting to really be certain of).

I’ve decided to go into the training to be a Certified Guide for the MKMMA class, because I feel like this is something everyone should know about. It’s another process, for sure (!) but it can only help me to be better as a person. I hope you’ll join me the next go round!

I haven’t forgotten you …

I’ve just been seriously busy getting ready for my “bucket list” trip to Hawaii!

Amazing, right? I have always wanted to go there, and my friends’ son is going to college there, and he’s graduating in May. If that wasn’t good enough, the MKMMA and Go90Grow live events are right before that! So I’m going to be taking three weeks and having a really great time … so I have to get my multiple businesses ready for me to be gone that long!!

So I have been writing, and probably a lot more than 500 words a day. Here are a few of the things I’ve done since I was last here …

Your Spring Garden

Your Fall Garden

Edible Massachusetts Landscaping

Plus I have a bunch of weekly newsletters to write and schedule. Four down, three to go. 🙂

Plus social media stuff, household stuff, and a garden, and my rabbit to take care of, plus household projects, writing/editing my novel which is coming out in December … I always have things going on. 😉

Back on topic: what have I been learning? What have I been doing (other than writing)?

I’ve had some incredible experiences, which are sort of personal, but they have shown me that I do have the power to change myself, both inside and outside. I’ve had one thing happen that I never thought would, and it’s one of those “rock your world” things that I may share someday but not yet.

Lots of love.


Week 23: real treasure

This has been an interesting week.

Haanel spent the entire chapter talking about money, power, and success.

He begins with the idea of money consciousness. Money consciousness is not what you might think. It is, rather than a grasping attitude, a receptive attitude. Going back to his polarity and circuit examples, he says that desire sets the current in motion, drawing what you need towards you, while fear stops this current and can even reverse it, sending money away from you:

Fear is just the opposite from the money consciousness; it is poverty consciousness, and as the law is unchangeable we get exactly what we give; if we fear, we get what we feared.

I’ve got a lot more work to do on this point. I had to fill out a survey on one of my businesses today, and I felt that sharp spike of fear that I hadn’t felt in weeks, that I had avoided by avoiding the whole topic. But that spike wasn’t as strong, and I now know what it means — that something in this is both vitally important to my growth as a person and being wrongly perceived as danger for some reason — and by reminding myself that I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy, and allowing myself to do more grief work at how things have turned out in that area.

This is one thing I really appreciate about this course, that it has given me the ability to understand and handle emotions, something I never even imagined would happen.

But anyway, he goes on to say:

We make money by making friends,

Another area I haven’t been all that successful in …

and we enlarge our circle of friends by making money for them, by helping them, by being of service to them.

This I find incredibly helpful, because it seems like something I can do, something practical.

The first law of success then is service

I love when he states things plainly like this. He says some other things that I found helpful in this regard:

  • You can make a money magnet of yourself, but to do so you must first consider how you can make money for other people.
  • your greatest success will come as you are enabled to assist others … it is just as essential to give as to get … the more we give, the more we get

He goes on to use several business examples of success through helping others and links this to concentration on the things you desire, including an acquaintance who went from broke to wealthy in just a few years through this method, emphasizing that what he’s writing about is the epitome of “practical”!

“Spirituality” is quite “practical”, intensely “practical.” It teaches that Spirit is the Real Thing, the Whole Thing, and that Matter is but plastic stuff, which Spirit is able to create, mould, manipulate, and fashion to its will. Spirituality is the most “practical” thing in the world — the only really and absolutely “practical” thing that there is!

The webinar talked about self-reliance, and we’re reading Emerson’s essay on self-reliance. I love this:

I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility.

And we got some new cards with things from a book by Deepak Chopra, about acceptance, responsibility, and not defending our position, sort of an extension to the mental diet. I’ve heard of Deepak Chopra before but have never read anything he wrote until now.

And then this from Haanel just jumped out at me:

The average person is entirely innocent of any deep thinking; he accepts the ideas of others, and repeats them, in very much the same way as a parrot; this is readily seen when we understand the method which is used to form public opinion, and this docile attitude on the part of a large majority who seem perfectly wiling to let a few persons do all their thinking for them is what enables a few men in a great many countries to usurp all the avenues of power and hold the millions in subjection.

So how does this all fit together?

I feel as if this week is about treasure.

What is treasure? Is it money, or what money brings you? Or is it something else?

Could the real treasure be … your true calling? Your true self? Letting the crowd do its thing, wishing it well, and taking your own path?

I added some new index cards to my stack.

The only teacher is you

The only map is you

The only treasure is you

The real treasure is you.

Week 22: mind over matter

I really enjoyed this week’s lesson, but the week seems to be going way too fast! It’s hard to believe it’s Thursday evening already.

This week, Haanel talked about our physical health, and how the mind affects the body. Literally “mind over matter”.

Unfortunately, that term has the connotation of being something either supernatural or something to do with will power.

Now, Haanel REALLY does not like the term “will power” — he went on a rant about it a couple of weeks ago, which I didn’t mention then but I’ll quote him here:

Every time you think you start a train of causation which will create a condition in strict accordance with the quality of the thought which originated it. Thought which is in harmony with the Universal Mind will result in corresponding conditions. Thought which is destructive or discordant will produce corresponding results. You may use thought constructively or destructively, but the immutable law will not allow you to plant a thought of once kind and reap the fruit of another. You are free to use this marvelous creative power as you will, but you must take the consequences.

This is the danger from what is called Will Power. There are those who seem to think that by force of will they can coerce this law; that they can sow seed of one kind and by “Will Power” make it bear fruit of another, but the fundamental principle of creative power is in the Universal, and therefore the idea of forcing a compliance with our wishes by the power of the individual will is an inverted conception which may appear to succeed for a while but is eventually doomed to failure – because it antagonizes the very power which it is seeking to use.

It is the individual attempting to coerce the Universal, the finite in conflict with the Infinite.

Or as the saying goes, “your arms are too short to box with God” 😉

But the term “mind over matter” does have some merit, because your mind really can influence your body. Haanel gives several examples: you hear something funny and your whole body shakes with laughter; you see something sad and you cry; you read something horrible and become angry, your face turning red as the blood flows to your cheeks. According to Haanel, our minds can not only affect our bodies for a short period of time like laughing, but can cause real damage or good to our bodies.

I’m reminded of people who “died of fright” or got terrible news and had a heart attack and died. Now this could be coincidence, or it could be something “real”.

Both seeing this as a former physician and from personal experience, I can tell you that your mind can have a big impact on your body. Not in the “will power” way, but as in holding particular thoughts for long periods of time. People who should have died and are fine, or who should not have died who predicted the day they ended up dying (in one case, I had a patient who seemed fairly well who died exactly one year after her husband did, and she told me that’s when she wanted to go — in another, a woman 20 years ago who had “terminal” brain cancer yet went into complete remission and as far as I know is fine to this day).

And I was labeled as “100% disabled” 15 years ago: I had severe psychiatric problems, fibromyalgia, and arthritis — and one day long ago I decided that my goal in life (my DMP, if you will) was to get well. Every day I thought about this: I want to get well. And other than some lingering memory issues due to the psychiatric problem and a bit of creakiness in the joints, I’m pretty much there.

So I found this statement interesting:

… when perfect images are placed before the subjective, the creative energies will build a perfect body.

In other words, think of what you want, and you’ll get what you want!

Now, this seems worth doing. I’m 52 and have had three children, and my body wouldn’t be considered “perfect” by any means. But this would be a great experiment!

Actually, I began this experiment several months ago, back in week 9, when Haanel said:

It used to be said that man is completely built over every seven years, but some scientists now declare that we build ourselves over entirely every eleven months; so we are really only eleven moths old. If we build the defects back in to our bodies year after year, we nave no one to blame but ourselves.

Wow! That statement hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I read it.

So far all I’ve done for sure is break through a weight loss plateau which had plagued me for the past 2 years, but I have some other changes I’d like to build in as well, if I can, not by “will power”, but by getting my subconscious mind to do it for me. I’ll keep you posted. 😉


Week 19: the universe is calling you

This has been one of the more difficult weeks for me in the course. I’ve felt emotional, anxious, and even have had some physical symptoms come back which I had thought I’d gotten rid of. It’s been very strange.heros_journey4_8462

I think it was last week (or maybe the week before) where Mark started talking about the Hero’s Journey in earnest, but more particularly about the phenomenon of refusing the call.

You see the diagram to your right, and the little guy at the top there? He gets a call (like every story hero does), but at first he refuses it. It’s not convenient, it’s too cold or hot or late or early or would cause him (or her) to get dressed up or get dirty. It’s just not going to happen.

But then, like I mentioned before, something happens, and off you go into your journey.

Something that I find interesting about the talk about refusing the call at this late date is the implication that we haven’t STARTED our Hero’s Journey yet. Which is kind of blowing my mind here, seeing as a lot of really cool things have happened so far.CuypmanipFrodosource-RED

But it occurs to me that there’s a point in time where you pass from what you know to what you don’t know (sort of like Sam Gamgee in the field there with Frodo). If you take one more step, you’ll be so far out of your comfort zone that you’re in the truly unknown, and you can feel it.

You could take that step, or you could refuse the call, turn around, and go home.

I think that this is where I’ve been this week.

You see, I’ve been getting all these signals from the universe over the past couple years or so, which can be summed up beautifully in this one:

10704172_912319372130844_8364997344370110710_nAnd this, as it turns out, is the “threshold guardian” that I’ve had to fight this week (and it was a hell of a fight): Do I value myself or do I not? Am I worth taking steps to assert my right to make a living from my business, or do I retreat and write my passion off as a loss, or do I start giving excuses for why my ALL businesses are not doing well, or at best barely breaking even, like I have done so many times before?

I hadn’t really thought about the whole “threshold guardian” part before I started writing this, so I decided to look the term up just now.

The term “Guardian of the Threshold”, often called “dweller on the threshold” indicates a spectral image which is supposed to manifest itself as soon as “the student of the spirit ascends upon the path into the higher worlds of knowledge”… The Guardian of the Threshold is a spectral figure and is the abstract of the debit and credit book of the individual. “It is the combined evil influence that is the result of the wicked thoughts and acts of the age in which any one may live, and it assumes to each student a definite shape at each appearance, being always either of one sort or changing each time” (wikipedia)

A figure or event that tests the resolve of a Hero as he pursues his destiny and/or his goal. The Guardian is not necessarily adversarial, but puts the hero in a position where he must make a decision that reflects a sincere commitment to the task at hand, by providing a threat or bar to progress that the hero must specifically choose to overcome. In simpler terms, the Threshold Guardian exists to make sure the Hero is prepared for his adventure … Whatever form the Guardian and his challenge take, their defeat forces the hero to grow; heroes that are not yet ready for their journey are forced to turn back until they have matured sufficiently to handle the task … A hero may have more than one encounter with Threshold Guardians during his adventure — each one tests him and at the same time heralds an escalation of the danger (and consequent reward) the hero faces. (tvtropes, emphasis mine)

Reading this over makes me laugh, because this is exactly how I’ve been feeling.

The universe is calling. I can feel it. You can feel it, if you stop long enough to listen. But before you stands something that you have to overcome, and to you it’s something really truly big yet unavoidable. Once you overcome it, you can step over the threshold into the unknown.

For me, it involved summoning the courage to tell 300+ people that my community was going to a paid membership model, instead of hiding behind some sort of faux nobility and settling for staying broke — because I decided that I do value myself.

For you it will certainly involve something different.

Did I overcome it? I think so. I spent all day yesterday preparing, and I actually enjoyed that part … so I’m thinking that the actual overcoming was somewhere after a talk I had on the phone with my mastermind partner Leanne, where I was in tears about the whole thing. Somewhere in there, I decided what needed to be done.

So I guess I’m in the unknown. It feels sort of fun here. 🙂

Door To Door

69ee3dd7f30415e5df2907aefd77890bWe’ve been asked to watch some movies for the class. I’m going to eventually watch all of them, but this is the one I got to this week.

Door To Door … this movie was really good, the true story of Bill Porter, a man with cerebral palsy who worked as a door to door salesman … and became a great one.

When he began his mother continually encouraged him and told him to have patience and persistence … then later he had friends who did his shoelaces and cuffs for him … he was so stubbornly wanting to do everything himself yet he had to learn to let others help!

I could really relate to this, as this is one of the things that I have had to learn as well (for different reasons).

He definitely had things he needed: independence and financial resources were the top two that I see (in the class we call these Autonomy and Liberty). He did not want charity or pity or anything like that. He had his mom for moral support at first, then later he hired a gal to help with deliveries who became a huge support to him. He had a set route, he knew what he needed to do. He had a plan. All he had to do was to implement it, but that for him was really the hardest part due to his physical condition.

I do direct sales with Avon, so I could relate to a lot of the things which happened in the movie. It’s funny that so many people give up in sales for piddly little reasons and here this guy had cerebral palsy and was still able to succeed. He had a burning desire for his life to be different, to be independent and self-reliant, not to be a burden on anyone.

One thing that was remarkable about this guy (at least the way he was portrayed in the movie) was that he wasn’t judgmental. He had a lot of very different people in his life (some who did not like him), and he sort of rolled with each one and took them as they were. I think that this is why he was so successful. He didn’t get into other people’s business or voice opinions about them, just let the crazy going on around him roll past and focus on his goal of selling his stuff.

I was so sorry to hear that Bill died in 2013. I would have liked to have met him.

I’m glad I watched this movie, it’s one that will stay with me for a long time.