As I alluded to last week, changes are happening in my household. As much as I love my husband, the loss of quiet time at my computer during my prime working hours in the morning (he’s up before I am) is taking some getting used to. But even more than that, I’m finding changes going on inside me too.
This week, I failed to meet a Definite Major Purpose (DMP) goal. It was, as you might have guessed, a financial goal. I’m really trying to figure out why, because we manifest our own reality. The closest I’ve gotten so far is that as I mentioned my goal, in my mind I pictured what I would do, how I would juggle things, if I didn’t make it. I did notice it many times and corrected myself. But my old money blueprint of “here we go and fail again” has still worked against me in this area.
I realized I needed to circumvent my old blueprint entirely, make it irrelevant. So I removed all the financial stuff from my DMP. If I truly get what I want, money won’t be an issue.
I’ve also realized that while my Personal Pivotal Needs (PPNs) are True Health and Legacy, Autonomy is rising up as a close third. I thought it was Liberty, but one of my main goals for getting money is the freedom to do what I want. And that’s more important to me than how much I have in my bank account. How do I know that? Because even though my online businesses allow me to run them anywhere, I’m still feeling weighed down by them. I have deadlines, obligations, expectations put on me. And I’m not getting anywhere near the return I thought I would when I began them.
So here I am, yet again, trying to figure out if this is just me being flighty or whether I really should sell these and move on.
Since one of them is deeply tied into my DMP, something I’ve publicly announced I’m going to do, I have to ask myself why I’m feeling this way. There are some simple things I can do to make these more profitable. I know what I need to do. I’m not doing it. Why? Is it my old self-sabotaging blueprint again? Am I afraid of whatever breakthrough I’m going to make if I persist? Or am I just clinging to a dead horse no one else wants out of fear of doing what I really should be doing?
When you’re in this place, it seems dark. It seems overwhelming. But we know what that means. The real trick is knowing which way to go, what changes to make. But like that seed in the dark, we are given a major clue. I just need to follow it.