Tag Archive: challenges

Week 4 – letting go

Letting go can (I suppose) be good or bad, depending on your point of view. Maybe I just need to not have an opinion on it altogether.


This has been one of those weeks where you want to chuck it all and do something else.

You ever have weeks like that?

In some ways, that dissatisfaction with the way things are is good – it’s a sign that you’re ready to make a serious shift in your life. But until the shift happens, it’s sort of uncomfortable.

Even now, I’ve been going over my old blog posts, trying to figure out how to make sense of some of the things which are going on in my life right now. Trying to figure out what to write today. And all I can think of is letting go.letting go

But what do I let go of? That’s the question which has dogged me. How do you know what to let go of and what to keep? When to do what you’ve said you’ll do and when to let it go as a bad decision and take the consequences?

I had one such decision to make this week.

Months ago I felt weird about doing something, but it seemed like a good financial decision, so I laid the plans for it even though I didn’t feel enthusiastic about it.

But some extremely serious things have happened – unrelated to myself – which made me have to take a moral stand around the matter, and it’s been keeping me up at night for the past few weeks.

I felt torn between financial needs and moral obligations, desire to help and rage at even being anywhere near the place I said I would be, and a voice waking me up every morning telling me not to do this thing I said I would do.

I had no idea why these strong feelings came to me around this issue. Objectively, it wasn’t all that big of a deal. But it bothered me immensely. Was I using this as an excuse, failing to break through my comfort zone? Or was I in danger of ignoring the strong direction of my intuition?

So I did a bit of a sit. How did it feel to not do this? How did it feel to do this?

And I followed my heart. Which was telling me not to do this.

All of a sudden, when I became serious about letting go, I knew exactly why I needed not to do this (personal/family reason) and it all made sense.

It was so strange – if I listened to my inner guidance months ago, had realized letting go was the right thing to do weeks ago, I would have saved a ton of money, time, and angst. Why didn’t I listen?

I feel as though I have held on to some weird part of my old blueprint which still is trying to run things.

It’s difficult to explain, especially to those of you who’ve never taken this course. But I’m seeing implications running through everything. Areas where I’ve ignored clear signs and direction as to what to do because I had invested in something which could not serve me or my family and was unwilling to admit I’d been wrong.

What does this have to do with the Master Key Experience? Well, everything. I would never have been able to sort through this and come to the point of letting go without the help of this course. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to see what the problem was or how to solve it. So I feel very grateful. I feel as if this is a new direction for me.

I ran across something earlier today which had me in tears:

At times you may find yourself between worlds, unsure about anything, with no idea what is being asked of you. It is clear some sort of death has occurred and that things will never be the same again.

But where is the rebirth? The new life purpose? The promised healing, intimacy, clarity, and joy?

Nothing has yet emerged from the womb of Now. No direction for the journey ahead. Or so it seems.

While the uncertainty can be disorienting, in another sense you are home. In this realm, terror and exhilaration co-arise and weave in and out of one another. They appear as they are – energies of aliveness, filled with information for the journey ahead. But the data they carry is holy, and not always navigable by the density of the mind.

The alternating waves of hope and hopelessness, appearing and dissolving in a vast field of holding. In this environment, even fear is seen as an emissary, a special tour guide into the hidden places of the sacred world.

Yes, the longing can be excruciating at times… for healing, for transcendence, for understanding, for some magical “other” to come and remind you of how majestic you truly are. There is a cosmic ache for clarity, for ground, and for some resolution to all the contradictions. A yearning for just a moment of rest and respite from the raging, full-spectrum relentlessness of the unknown.

Perhaps the greatest act of kindness and surrender now is to turn toward the death and the reorganization. To stay embodied to the “falling apart,” and discover if you were ever “together” to begin with. For what you are is beyond all this.

You are the warm erupting luminous space in which “together” and “apart” are lovers, dancing together into eternity, spinning with one another so that the unprecedented majesty of what you are can finally break through and find safe passage here into a world that has gone a bit mad.

Right in between the death and the rebirth is the secret place. Stay there and listen. And feel the waves of sweet and fierce love, as they descend and wash through. – Matt Licata

Be well. 🙂

 

Week 3 – Fear and power

This week’s lesson (I feel) is about power, and fear. The part about power is easy and interesting: where power comes from, how to get it, what to do with it — these are all fascinating topics. What people don’t really like to talk about is fear.

But fear is really the part which keeps us from getting the power we need to do what it is we want. Haanel makes that quite clear:

When fear is effectually and completely destroyed, your light will shine, the clouds will disperse and you will have found the source of power, energy and life.

fear

None of us are immune to fear. We can push it aside, keep it at bay, but if we aren’t careful, it can creep right back in again. It’s all part of being human.

The biggest problem with fear is that it can cause us to make bad decisions. To not do things which are in our own best interests.To push away those trying to bring us wisdom. To not take opportunities which could help us!

So our major task is to focus on getting rid of fear, right?

Nope. If you focus on what you don’t want, subby brings you more of the thing you focus on. That is the Law of Attraction, in its negative form.

So what do we want?

We want the power, the ability, to get past the fear, to not let it stop what we want for our lives.

And if you read part 3, Haanel gives quite explicit instructions on how to activate the source of our power: what we in the MKE call the Sit. Purposeful silence. With this plus the mental diet, plus the other little exercises we do, many members are even now beginning to learn how to activate this power within them.

Sounds too good to be true? Yeah. I know. It does. But that’s your fear talking. 🙂

 

 

 

Week 2 – Protecting subby

Who or what is subby? Why does subby need protecting?

Well, “subby” is what we in the Master Key Experience call our subconscious mind.

Picture a 5 year old autistic savant. This kid can calculate anything in an instant, but is innocent and knows nothing about life. This kid takes you literally (as five year olds do) and desperately wants to please you. All you have to do is to suggest something would help, and this kid rushes off to go do it.


Those of you who watched the free video series learned about the relationship between subby and our conscious mind, and how subby is the one who directs our actions. Like an ant on the back of an elephant, the only thing we have a chance of doing is to direct subby – there’s no way to control it (this is what “subconscious” means – we have no conscious control).

But we can give suggestions. And remember, all subby wants is to please us.

Should be easy, right?

That’s where we get in our own way.

The one thing I’ve learned in my time in the Master Key Experience is how undisciplined my conscious mind is, even now in my third year doing this. I got some notion passing through my head that maybe I didn’t need to do all this … and now my copy of Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman is gone, and everything with it. My DMP, my cards, my Blueprint Builder, the works. I keep it all together in a ziplock bag which has gone everywhere with me … which seems to have vanished.

Well.

I have another copy, and I’ve repeated all the things so much I have most of them memorized, so it’s okay. I’m fine. But it’s a clue-by-four to the head as to what can happen when you get careless and fail to protect your subby from suggestions about things you don’t actually want!

And it’s even worse for those of you whose minds are even more undisciplined. Fortunately, my manifestation was minor. Nothing serious happened. But it could have been much worse.

So how do you protect subby?

Mental diet.

You have to be the “watchman at the gate” keeping any unwanted influences away from this little subby of yours. It’s a never-ending job, watching what you see, what you hear, how you interpret those things.

It can be done, but it takes vigilance. It takes a determination to only consider things, to only say things, which you want manifested in your life.

But it’s worth it. On my DMP I have the idea that I become a NYT bestselling author in 2021. I have reason to believe it’s going to happen much sooner. More on that later.

This is what the members of the Master Key Experience are just barely beginning to learn about this week: their power, and their responsibility to this innocent little savant inside of them. It’s fairly daunting, yet inspiring as well.

I almost forgot to post my 2016 tribe! I’ll go do that now.

Have a great week!

What do we manifest?

I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about what we manifest, and what we don’t.

The last few weeks have been pretty hectic – getting my book ready for the proofreader, going on a two week vacation in California which turned into a lot of driving around in a rental to deal with my daughter’s car (which we drove there) breaking down, then trying to catch up with all the things neglected by being gone two weeks. You know how it can go.

I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to go on the trip in the first place. I had a lot to do. My husband didn’t want me to go (he never did say why). But I thought it would be a nice way to get away, relax, go to the beach, and see family. I did do those things, but the trip turned out to be way more stressful than I anticipated.

Through most of the things which went wrong in California, I kept thinking, did I manifest this? Or is this stuff my daughter is manifesting? Because I honestly didn’t know. It was a very strange, beautiful, interesting trip. And unfortunately, quite expensive for all of us.

I’m not sure there’s any way to know. It could be that what happened was a combination of a lot of unexamined thoughts floating around in our heads. Or it could have been just random.

The good thing is that I felt a lot better about what happened than I ever would have a few years ago! I would have been some sort of nervous wreck the whole time. But I took all my driving around by myself while everyone else was at the beach as a chance for some silence and to serve my family. So I guess it turned out okay. 🙂

Only guidance

I only pray for guidance – Og Mandino

The past few weeks in the news have been horrifying in ways I can’t even describe, even if I were brave enough to. For the people involved and their families, it’s tragic, infuriating.

I only pray for guidance.

I have light skin and code (to most people) as “white”. What should I do? Is there anything I can do? Would the things I want to do, to say, just make things worse?

I only pray for guidance.

I do not identify as a skin color. My heritage is Creole. My family looks like the people who have died the past two weeks, on both sides of the issue. I fear for the lives of my family, that a person filled with hate may look at their skin color and decide they should die.

I only pray for guidance.

I have had my own run-in with a police officer, who took away so much, merely because they could. He knew he would never be caught or tried or even accused, because he had a badge and a gun and was male and had the might of the entire world behind him, and I was a teenage girl. It was over 30 years ago and I am still afraid when I see a police car behind me. The man who did that got a pension and a long life and died “a hero” simply because he wore a uniform.

I only pray for guidance.

I understand the hate. I understand the fear. It brings me back to those days as a small child after the Civil Rights Movement, forced busing, the gangs of kids attacking others who didn’t look like them because their parents told them those people had ruined everything, caused every problem. Those kids are grown now, and so are their victims, and they both HATE. So they tell their children, and their grandchildren, to beware of those people that don’t look like them, to hate them, to fear them, to stand up for their rights to not be afraid by the use of weapons, because that’s what we as a country value above all things.

I only pray for guidance. Because everything else is up to me.

I never pray for the material things of the world. I am not calling to a servant to bring me food. I am not ordering an innkeeper to provide me with room. I never seek delivery of gold, love, good health, petty victories, fame, success, or happiness. I only pray for guidance, that I may be shown the way to acquire these things, and my prayer is always answered.

I don’t have anything inspiring to say.

Resistance and miracles

This week has been very good and pretty bad at the same time. I won’t go into details, but the two major things I see here are my old blueprint and resistance. With a good dose of opinions on the side.


Anyone actually successful who’s reading this: when do you stop feeling as if you’re walking in a minefield? Perhaps that’s just my old blueprint as well.


I redid my DMP. In many ways I feel like this:

miracle

Those things we call miracles are just the inexplicable things which happen as the universe comes to your aid. I know that. But is it resistance not to want to rely on them? To know how to do what I want to do?

I feel as if I’m pushing through a jungle, alone, in a direction where there’s no path. Is that resistance? Or is that a sign I should go a different way? I don’t know, and I think the not knowing is what scares me.

Fear, unworthiness … hey, that sounds like my comfort zone! Now I know what to do. 😀

That, my friend, is a miracle. 😉

Changes

As I alluded to last week, changes are happening in my household. As much as I love my husband, the loss of quiet time at my computer during my prime working hours in the morning (he’s up before I am) is taking some getting used to. But even more than that, I’m finding changes going on inside me too.

This week, I failed to meet a Definite Major Purpose (DMP) goal. It was, as you might have guessed, a financial goal. I’m really trying to figure out why, because we manifest our own reality. The closest I’ve gotten so far is that as I mentioned my goal, in my mind I pictured what I would do, how I would juggle things, if I didn’t make it. I did notice it many times and corrected myself. But my old money blueprint of “here we go and fail again” has still worked against me in this area.

I realized I needed to circumvent my old blueprint entirely, make it irrelevant. So I removed all the financial stuff from my DMP. If I truly get what I want, money won’t be an issue.

I’ve also realized that while my Personal Pivotal Needs (PPNs) are True Health and Legacy, Autonomy is rising up as a close third. I thought it was Liberty, but one of my main goals for getting money is the freedom to do what I want. And that’s more important to me than how much I have in my bank account. How do I know that? Because even though my online businesses allow me to run them anywhere, I’m still feeling weighed down by them. I have deadlines, obligations, expectations put on me. And I’m not getting anywhere near the return I thought I would when I began them.

changesSo here I am, yet again, trying to figure out if this is just me being flighty or whether I really should sell these and move on.

Since one of them is deeply tied into my DMP, something I’ve publicly announced I’m going to do, I have to ask myself why I’m feeling this way. There are some simple things I can do to make these more profitable. I know what I need to do. I’m not doing it. Why? Is it my old self-sabotaging blueprint again? Am I afraid of whatever breakthrough I’m going to make if I persist? Or am I just clinging to a dead horse no one else wants out of fear of doing what I really should be doing?

When you’re in this place, it seems dark. It seems overwhelming. But we know what that means. The real trick is knowing which way to go, what changes to make. But like that seed in the dark, we are given a major clue. I just need to follow it.

Darkness

This week has gone well, and for my old blueprint, darkness tends to follow.

This time, I asked myself: Why should I feel this way when things are going well?


darknessThis month’s reading in The Greatest Salesman is about multiplying your own value. It makes the analogy of a wheat seed and how it multiplies from one to many seeds, which then multiply to many more. But in this, Og Mandino writes:

To grow and multiply it is necessary to plant the wheat grain in the darkness of the earth and my failures, my despairs, my ignorance, and my inabilities are the darkness in which I have been planted in order to ripen.

So darkness has value.


I’ve felt that darkness has value for a long time now. I feel as if much of the problems of the world are an attempt not to feel, not to think, to avoid the potentially dark areas in ourselves, as if they had some sort of power. But they only have power when ignored and suppressed, as far as I can tell.

I get the feeling that a lot of people – in and out of the Master Key Experience – are surprised or put off that one of the items on my DMP is a story which is so dark that I’ve seen people read the back cover, put it down, and walk away, saying, “I can’t read this.”

I admit, it’s not for everyone. But neither is it simply a wallow in darkness. I believe that stories have great power, and when you’re in darkness yourself having someone tell you, “see, there’s someone else here too” is a comfort that those who shy away from it will never be able to give. But you have to be willing and able to go there in order to help.

Darkness has its own beauty as well. The smallest bit of light becomes even brighter, and this is where the seed is transformed, reborn if you will, to become something it could never have been otherwise.

Do you think the seed is doing well? It’s doing what it was meant to do, becoming what it was intended to become.

I realized this week that asking why I might be in darkness when things are going well was the wrong question. The real question is: am I doing what I was meant to do? Am I becoming what I was intended to become? Am I breaking the hard crust of cement which has surrounded my life? If so, darkness might be exactly where I need to be right now. 🙂

The Law of Attraction is no secret

You might remember that movie “The Secret”? I never saw it but as far as I can tell from looking on Wikipedia that the premise is that the Law of Attraction is a secret that is being suppressed by some sort of conspiracy.secret

Which makes no sense to me: if it’s really a “Natural Law” (as Haanel claims it to be over and over) then it is just as evident as any other.

I wrote last week about knocking a chunk of what we call “cement” off – basically, getting to a root of something from my old blueprint which had been holding me back from what I could be. The next day I watched a webinar about releasing money blocks with some fantastic tools in it which I was now in the mindset to be able to use. Two days later I sold over $1000 of courses from one of my websites.

Cause and effect? Or coincidence?

Does it matter? My credit card company doesn’t care; they just want their money. 😉

Just for fun, let’s go backwards here. I’ve been pounding away on this particular website trying to make it profitable for over five years now. I’ve written hundreds of pages of information, and up to now, over 70% just clicked away from it. The particular course I sold all that with just now has been up and running for two years now. Barely a bite.

Could I have been attracting the wrong people, perhaps?

I haven’t changed much of anything on my website, except to make it more mobile-friendly a couple of months ago.

Anyways, I take the view that if something works, I don’t care about the details of why, unless it’s really relevant or interesting. I have too much to do with my life to spend time trying to analyze everything.

I’m pretty happy with this unexpected “experiment” – and this is making me think about my other experiment, which has been going on for over a year now. I’m making progress, but it’s not going as fast as I would like. Now I’m wondering why, and what different thoughts I might need to have in order to make it go faster.

You can do all this too: there’s no “secret” or “magic” about it. But first you have to begin looking at what you’re thinking right now, in real life. I have a booklet called “The 7 Day Mental Diet” which is free. Fill out the form at the top of this page (or the one that pops up, they both go to the same place), and I’ll send it to your email.

A major breakthrough

I was doing my reading of the Master Keys this morning like usual, and I came across this in part 11:

… the supply is created by the demand.

And next to it, last year I wrote:

If the supply is created by the demand, and there is not sufficient supply, it is only due to insufficient demand. (BURNING DESIRE)

And it occurred to me: if I don’t have sufficient demand inside me for what I claim I want, what am I really demanding that is either superseding that or blocking that? I sat with the question for some time, until it began to come to me.

This post isn’t going to be like the others. I’m going to link to another blog of mine that I bet 99.99999999% of people who come here have never and will never go to, even though it’s been linked on my About Me page from the beginning.

If you go there, be warned that there is cursing. A lot of cursing. That blog is not about being pretty or nice. It is about my struggles with severe mental illness. I am being very real, and I am doing it over there so as not to mess up anyone’s brand or be offensive to anyone. If you still want to read it, go there.

If you just want a summary, here it is:

  • I have had fairly serious problems with money for a while now
  • it’s been based in my old blueprint (duh) which is pretty twisted up around the subject
  • I think I’m beginning to find my way out

This has been mainly through looking more closely at who I am and what these things I claim I want (like money) mean to me. My way may or may not work for you; the point of taking the MKE is to find out what works for you, without the influence of others getting in the way.

After two years of pretty intensive hammering on the subject, a chunk of cement falls off. That could either be encouraging or not, depending on your attitude. But if you don’t start hammering nothing’s going to happen. 🙂

Want to begin? The 7 day mental diet is as good a place as any to start. If that popup box hasn’t popped yet, scroll down and you’ll see it. Or take a look at the box at the top of the page. Fill one of them out, read the booklet I send you, and give it a try.