Tag Archive: courage

You get what you ask for

I have so much to write about I don’t even know where to start. But I feel as if I have had some insights over the past week or two that I’d like to share with you.

Since I’ve taken this course, more and more I’ve been faced with evidence that what happens to us isn’t just random fate, but a direct result of what we’ve asked for.

We manifest ALL the time, both good and bad. We can’t help it. We’re manifested in the image (the IMAGE!) of the Infinite, and we have the same ability to create our reality.

Now I know a lot of people have problems with that. I would have had a huge problem with that a year or two ago, being a survivor of a whole lot of bad stuff that you don’t really even want to know about.

Putting aside the inevitable questions about things which happen to children and other beings who have no agency (which I feel is just avoiding the real point), if you look back at your life, you can often see what I’m talking about.

For example: I was in Hawaii (known for its bugs) for three weeks. I think I got one or two bug bites. I come home to Oklahoma (known for its bugs), and for over a week, I didn’t get a single bug bite. I sell this bug lotion and I use it regularly, and I like it.

So I was reading this discussion on Facebook by some friends of mine who were talking about how bad the bugs were, and (here comes the ego!) I was feeling upset that none of them bought any of my bug stuff, so I said, “I use my bug lotion and haven’t gotten any bug bites.” Which was a lie, and when I wrote it, I thought of my two bug bites quite clearly.

Guess what happened the next time I went outside. Tons of horrible bug bites!

I was talking with Mark J over in Kauai one day and he thought I needed to work on visualizing. I told him, that’s not my problem. My problem is that I visualize too well!

Over the 50 some years of crap I’ve had to deal with, I learned to visualize negativity SO well that it’s really no wonder that I’ve had the struggles I’ve had.

But then he said, well then you need to work on your mental diet.

I totally agree with that, because it’s a daily battle, even after the 8 or 9 months I’ve been working on this. It takes persistence. It takes courage.

But it gets easier as time goes on. It really does.

My point is that because you DO get what you ask for (what you visualize, which is the main way you tell your subby what you want) you MUST get control of your mind!

Right now, what are you thinking? What are you visualizing? Is it positive and enthusiastic, full of what you want for your life? Or is it hateful and angry, full of anxiety and fear, guilt and shame, focused on things you don’t want?

You can either control your mind (and learn to get what you do want), or your out of control thoughts will continue to manifest things you don’t want.

The thing is, you have to start. I truly wish I would have started on this before the class began; I think I would have had a much better time of it. And I probably wouldn’t have spent the past week itching! LOL

I’ll leave this here for you again. It’s just a copy of the 7 Day Mental Diet by Emmet Fox, a few emails to encourage you along, and a notification when I post something new. If that provides some benefit to you, welcome aboard! I want to have 200 of you with me when we start again in September. πŸ™‚


A wish that came true

During the MKMMA course, we had to write something called a DMP, or Definite Major Purpose: basically answering the question WHAT DO YOU WANT? Mine got sent back over and over because I wasn’t being very specific. But on the third draft (dated October 5, 2014) I wrote in there that I wanted to go to Hawaii in 2015.


I had wanted to visit Hawaii for most of my life, because I kept hearing about how awesome it was. But I really considered it more seriously than a passing fancy when on a visit to California (where we were from) my best friend Celia told me her son Tyree (who was going to school there) would be graduating in 2015 and would I like to come too?

And I was like GREAT! AWESOME!

But I didn’t seriously feel like I was going. I didn’t keep my word a lot those days.

There are a few things you might want to know:

We drove to California from Oklahoma back in 2013 because I was so paranoid of the TSA. I had publicly and actively boycotted flying, speaking out against what was going on, and I didn’t even know if I was on some list or something. I am an abuse survivor, and the thought of some stranger touching me was like a phobia. At one point I couldn’t even read stories of TSA abuses because they would make me feel physically ill. The whole part about private jets and cruises (although those would be awesome) was my way to figure out how I could possibly go without having to deal with the TSA.

Even if I could have made myself go through a TSA line back then, I had no idea how I was going to pay to go to Hawaii. My husband doesn’t like traveling and while he might have paid for me to go, I didn’t know if it would be possible for us. At that time, my own finances weren’t doing too badly but I was later to take a series of financial missteps which put me into serious debt for the first time ever.

And although I had known Tyree since he was in second grade (his younger brother and my sons went to kindergarten together and they lived right around the corner) I didn’t actually know him all that well. So at the time the only thing sending me there was the prospect of hanging out with my friends for a week (which was pretty cool).

But doing the MKMMA forced me to decide WHAT DO I WANT, and I wanted to go to Hawaii. As it turned out, I got a TON more things done in that trip, which I’ll talk about more later. But going to Hawaii was not only something I had wanted to do for a long time, it was the first thing that they were actually able to drag out of me as a specific thing I WANTED TO DO, as opposed to what others might want, stuff for my husband/kids/etc.

Isn’t it weird how women are? LOL

So that gives some context into this photo:


How did I get there? How did I not only go, but have a great time, absolutely zero trouble with airport security, and meet some dear friends along the way?

Well, it’s sort of like Sam’s dilemma. How do you explain nine months of effort, involving danger, fear, and victories? It would be easier for you to look at the information in the tabs above, then take the course and retrain your own subby (plus more fair to those who created it and those who took it) than for me to explain the whole thing. YouΒ  also could read what I’ve written so far. But it’s really a change inside which all this guidance, training, and mental effort produced that did it for me, and that’s something which WILL happen if you do the work.

I admit I slacked off some there at the end, but even so it’s been enough to get me through. I have a lot more specific things that I have discovered along the way that I want to do, and I am really excited because I know now that I can do them!

But really it began with the Mental Diet for me. That’s why I keep going on about it. You can save yourself some time and do it now while you’re waiting, instead of waiting until whenever they introduce it after the course starts (which won’t be for a while). But it’s up to you. πŸ™‚

Just fill out the form and follow the directions. I don’t have time to spam people, so it’s all cool.

Open to life

I’ve been working my way along, getting all the zillions of things done I need to do before I leave on the 26th … well, it’s not really zillions, but sometimes it feels that way. It’s a whole sheet of paper and I have just three or four things to go (although some are multi-day projects). I’m really astonished at how much I’m able to get done without feeling stressed about it.

The other great thing that’s been happening now is that I’m much better with trying new things. I used to be so afraid to try new things, or I would try (ie. buy) new things which had nothing to do with what I really wanted to do and so were going to cost me money that would end up being wasted.

I’ve taken to heart a quote:


Today I ran across an amazing opportunity doing something that a year ago I would have said no to, even though it’s exactly the sort of thing I need to be doing, because I wouldn’t have thought I was good enough to do it. But today I said YES! and it’s going to be awesome.

(And I even know how to do it! Now it’s just a matter of figuring out the details.)

An opportunity to give without expectation of reciprocity (and even better, there will be a small fee for doing this which will cover my hotel while I’m there, yippee!).

More on that another time.

Here’s another example: I’ve been experimenting with scheduling posts on WordPress, over at my blog The Beautiful Hand, then sending them to Facebook and such. Some are going through with all the photos and links perfect — and others aren’t … no title, no photo, just a shortened link. No one’s going to click on that! It’s sort of a bummer in a way, but it’s still an interesting experiment to see what happens. And it can help my business, and maybe even bring in some cash. Who knows?

I feel as if my whole attitude about these things has changed from fearful to fun, from avoiding life to finding it an adventure.

Oh, I have to share this with you. Remember how my husband was so suspicious of the MKMMA course? Well, the other day he tells me he likes it and gives all these reasons why.


I’m finding this whole thing very exciting.

Something my son said yesterday bugged me: that I was “lucky” to be able to go to Hawaii.

Luck does not come into it at all, and I told him that.

That first week of sits. The process (I was going to write ordeal, but it really wasn’t) of getting my DMP done (actually, I sent in another iteration of it the other day — it’s a work in progress for sure). Sticking to the 7 day mental diet. A hundred little decisions to stop thinking my old crappy way was the best way and let these people help me!

I am going to Hawaii because it was something I have wanted to do for most of my life,Β  I decided I was going to, and even though I didn’t have the money for it when I decided to do it, it’s all coming together. That is an example of going by intention rather than methods (something taught early on in the course, which is easy to grasp intellectually but more difficult to understand, and I’m only now starting to really be certain of).

I’ve decided to go into the training to be a Certified Guide for the MKMMA class, because I feel like this is something everyone should know about. It’s another process, for sure (!) but it can only help me to be better as a person. I hope you’ll join me the next go round!

Week 21: do you ever feel like people just don’t “get” you?

I feel like this constantly — it’s the story of my life. But I have felt this more often this week than in any other time since I was a small child, back when I was constantly told that I was too emotional, not emotional enough, too loud, too quiet, eating too much, not eating enough, and on and on and on. Red pencils, cement, ball and chain, you name it. Whatever you want to call it.

But I can feel all that stuff letting go, bit by bit. It’s not been an easy time of it.

In the webinar this week, Mark shared a lot of very cool stuff. One thing he mentioned was the idea of us (and the world around us) mostly being empty space (which I knew) and the idea of everything being in constant motion (which I also knew). But as we already talked about, there’s a difference between knowing and understanding. πŸ˜‰

Well, this week, Haanel writes about big ideas. The bigger, the better, he says, because this will make all the “petty and annoying” stuff drop away. Not only that, but thinking big, he says, is “one of the secrets of success”.

So I made sure to mark that, because I want to be successful when I grow up someday πŸ˜‰Β  And he also talks more about the Law of Attraction.

But he also says something which I found very interesting:

The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet and the law is that “like attracts like”, consequently the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to its nature.

Each of us is a magnet. Whatever our thoughts are, we attract the same: experiences, conditions, and — interestingly enough — people.

The real battle of life is one of ideas; it is being fought out by he few against the many; on the one side is the constructive and creative thought, on the other side the destructive and negative thought; the creative thought is dominated by an ideal, the passive thought is dominated by appearances …

In the last analysis there are but these two classes; all men will have to take their place on one side or the other; they will have to go forward or go back; there is no standing still in a world where all is motion …


The issue between the old regime and the new, the crux of the social problem, is entirely a question of conviction in the minds of the people as to the nature of the Universe. When they realize that the transcendent force of spirit or mind of the Cosmos is within each individual, it will be possible to frame laws that shall consider the liberties and rights of the many instead of the privileges of the few.

As long as the people regard the Cosmic power asΒ  a power non-human and alien to humanity, so long will it be comparatively easy for a supposed privileged class to rule by Divine right in spite of every protest of social sentiment. The real interest of democracy is therefore to exalt, emancipate and recognize the divinity of the human spirit.

Β When I read all that I felt like “this escalated quickly”!

But it all of a sudden made sense. This is why I have begun to sharply feel like I didn’t fit in (even more than usual). Before I didn’t fit into the “regular” world because the cement was on, now I’m not fitting in because the cement is coming off.

Week 19: the universe is calling you

This has been one of the more difficult weeks for me in the course. I’ve felt emotional, anxious, and even have had some physical symptoms come back which I had thought I’d gotten rid of. It’s been very strange.heros_journey4_8462

I think it was last week (or maybe the week before) where Mark started talking about the Hero’s Journey in earnest, but more particularly about the phenomenon of refusing the call.

You see the diagram to your right, and the little guy at the top there? He gets a call (like every story hero does), but at first he refuses it. It’s not convenient, it’s too cold or hot or late or early or would cause him (or her) to get dressed up or get dirty. It’s just not going to happen.

But then, like I mentioned before, something happens, and off you go into your journey.

Something that I find interesting about the talk about refusing the call at this late date is the implication that we haven’t STARTED our Hero’s Journey yet. Which is kind of blowing my mind here, seeing as a lot of really cool things have happened so far.CuypmanipFrodosource-RED

But it occurs to me that there’s a point in time where you pass from what you know to what you don’t know (sort of like Sam Gamgee in the field there with Frodo). If you take one more step, you’ll be so far out of your comfort zone that you’re in the truly unknown, and you can feel it.

You could take that step, or you could refuse the call, turn around, and go home.

I think that this is where I’ve been this week.

You see, I’ve been getting all these signals from the universe over the past couple years or so, which can be summed up beautifully in this one:

10704172_912319372130844_8364997344370110710_nAnd this, as it turns out, is the “threshold guardian” that I’ve had to fight this week (and it was a hell of a fight): Do I value myself or do I not? Am I worth taking steps to assert my right to make a living from my business, or do I retreat and write my passion off as a loss, or do I start giving excuses for why my ALL businesses are not doing well, or at best barely breaking even, like I have done so many times before?

I hadn’t really thought about the whole “threshold guardian” part before I started writing this, so I decided to look the term up just now.

The term “Guardian of the Threshold”, often called “dweller on the threshold” indicates a spectral image which is supposed to manifest itself as soon as “the student of the spirit ascends upon the path into the higher worlds of knowledge”… The Guardian of the Threshold is a spectral figure and is the abstract of the debit and credit book of the individual. “It is the combined evil influence that is the result of the wicked thoughts and acts of the age in which any one may live, and it assumes to each student a definite shape at each appearance, being always either of one sort or changing each time” (wikipedia)

A figure or event that tests the resolve of a Hero as he pursues his destiny and/or his goal. The Guardian is not necessarily adversarial, but puts the hero in a position where he must make a decision that reflects a sincere commitment to the task at hand, by providing a threat or bar to progress that the hero must specifically choose to overcome. In simpler terms, the Threshold Guardian exists to make sure the Hero is prepared for his adventure … Whatever form the Guardian and his challenge take, their defeat forces the hero to grow; heroes that are not yet ready for their journey are forced to turn back until they have matured sufficiently to handle the task … A hero may have more than one encounter with Threshold Guardians during his adventure β€” each one tests him and at the same time heralds an escalation of the danger (and consequent reward) the hero faces. (tvtropes, emphasis mine)

Reading this over makes me laugh, because this is exactly how I’ve been feeling.

The universe is calling. I can feel it. You can feel it, if you stop long enough to listen. But before you stands something that you have to overcome, and to you it’s something really truly big yet unavoidable. Once you overcome it, you can step over the threshold into the unknown.

For me, it involved summoning the courage to tell 300+ people that my community was going to a paid membership model, instead of hiding behind some sort of faux nobility and settling for staying broke — because I decided that I do value myself.

For you it will certainly involve something different.

Did I overcome it? I think so. I spent all day yesterday preparing, and I actually enjoyed that part … so I’m thinking that the actual overcoming was somewhere after a talk I had on the phone with my mastermind partner Leanne, where I was in tears about the whole thing. Somewhere in there, I decided what needed to be done.

So I guess I’m in the unknown. It feels sort of fun here. πŸ™‚

Week 17a: be a baby about it!

This week has been sort of a review week, and at first I didn’t like the idea but I’ve found it really helpful to go back and see how much things have changed from those first weeks when it all seemed so confusing. πŸ™‚

The webinar talked about babies, and birds, and one of the exercises we had was to revisit the seed exercise we did back in week 9. And the webinar also referenced something you might be familiar with called The Hero’s Journey.heros_journey4_8462

If you’re not familiar with it, the author of this book (Joseph Campbell) was consulted heavily in the making of the Star Wars original trilogy.

Joseph Campbell did a study of the myths and stories of cultures all over the world over the past 4000 years, and found that they all had something in common: the Journey which is diagrammed to the right there.

One thing that was said in the webinar is that we are ALL heroes!

The difference between the average person and a “hero” is that the hero answers the call to adventure, where most people resist it. mark-hamill-as-luke-skywalker-in-star-wars

It’s too cold, too hot, not the right time, there are bills to pay, and what would people think? Someone might not like it!

Bilbo Baggins comes to mind; he had to be manipulated and shoved out of the door by Gandalf to even get him to go on his adventure!

But at first in every story the hero is reluctant at first so don’t feel bad.

The problem is when you put the call off for so long that your chance at your own adventure of finding out who you really are passes and you’re left on your deathbed full of regrets, like the guy who never knew he was meant to run.

Now what do babies, birds, seeds, and the Hero’s Journey have to do with each other?

Well, first let’s think of the seed.

For a seed to grow, first something has to happen to crack the seed’s outer shell. star-wars-luke-skywalker-tatooine-star-wars-episode-7-amazing-luke-skywalker-plot-spoilers

In some seeds, it’s relatively easy to do this, but in other seeds, the shell is very tough and hard, and it takes a lot to get that seed started on their road towards becoming the plant it was meant to be.

Sometimes it means being soaked in water, sometimes it has to do with being chewed on, or fire, or something equally drastic.

But once that seed’s outer shell is cracked, this allows the seed to begin sending out tendrils of microscopic roots.

Once this happens, though, the seed can’t stop or go backwards, if it fails, it dies.Luke-Skywalker-star-wars-25114667-1024-7681

It has to have a full system of roots before it dares to show anything above ground, otherwise it won’t be able to support the plant when it emerges.

Plants are notorious for one thing: persistence.

They will find a way, make a way, do anything in order to succeed, even if it means going places and doing things that most people would never think of, totally changing the current order of the day.

And “nature knows not defeat” (says Og Mandino, and he’s right). πŸ™‚

The biggest example that we all know about is a baby learning to walk. CGF073_Hero_Toddler-stripey-stndng201209070408Babies don’t care what they have to do in order to succeed.

No matter how many times they fall, no matter if people encourage them or not, they are determined and persistent to learn to walk and talk as any plant!

Everything is new and exciting and wonderful to a baby. It takes no courage at all for a baby to get up and try again, even if people laugh or tease. Baby_diving

Babies aren’t self-conscious. They don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

They feel free to be who they are, and if there’s an adventure, they’re all over it!

So what happened?

We stopped being a baby about it!

We got self-conscious and fearful, constantly looking around to see who was watching and what they thought about it, making our lives smaller and smaller, until most of us don’t do anything outside our comfort zones.

What does take courage is to get up and take that call to adventure now, to let go of the need to pretend you’re someone you’re not. To stop looking for someone or something else to blame for your problems or to save you from your life and take responsibility for your own adventure. To be the hero in your own life.

There’s a saying that a bird never is afraid to sit on a new branch, because it trusts its wings. Once you trust your wings, you can truly fly.