From Tuesday at 11:30 am to today (Thursday) at 9:30 am, I checked myself into a hotel, locked the door, and went quiet. No electronics, no TV, no phone, no Facebook, no texting … quiet. I didn’t even talk (except a couple of times I caught myself talking to myself)
So why did I do all that?
Well, it was sort of an optional thing that Mark suggested we do, and it sounded like it could be useful. Some of the guides said they did it and it helped. Do at least a full day, they said, and you’ll learn more about yourself and who you are.
So I figured, what the heck? Maybe I’ll get something out of it.
Now, I like being by myself; I’m an introvert. But it was different being by myself with nothing to connect me with the outside world, so to speak. I did bring some books: The Master Key, Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman, and our MKMMA workbook (which I actually got quite a bit out of from re-reading — I didn’t realize how much I had missed and overlooked).
For other MKMMA students, I also brought my copy of my movie poster, my DMP, my flash cards, the photoshopped photo of my future self (which you can see in my press release), my makeover sheet, and so on.
I put my pictures up on the door to the shower (the door had a tiny gap where you could slide papers in) and spread everything else out on the other bed in the hotel room so I could see everything at once. I also had a desk area where I put up Wooden’s pyramid of success, the makeover sheet, and so on.
I did some sitting “sits”, some lying down “sits”, and a lot of walking. I must have walked several miles in that hotel room, just thinking about things. Life, the universe, and everything wouldn’t be too far off the mark. I flashed through my hundreds of index cards. I thought about things like “who am I, really?” and “what do I really want?” and “what’s most important?”
One thing someone said at the last webinar (two Sundays ago, we didn’t have one this week) was that a part of your comfort zone would get really loud. That first day it was guilt. People died. Like seriously, actually died. Because of me.
I can never be rid of that but I can honor those who believed in me anyway, in their faith and sacrifices. I can do this by becoming a person worthy of their trust.
This morning it was fear, the old adversary (can’t say that word without hearing it in Sean Connery’s voice lol)
But before that, and what I decided about fear, I’ll share some other things I learned:
- I am my future self already; my body and circumstances have just not caught up to that reality.
- Therefore, I need more action: I need to be ready when my future happens, so as to be physically, mentally and financially prepared to take the opportunities when they come.
- My DMP is a promise to myself, both now and future. I always keep my promises.
There were a few other things which are too personal to me to be shared here, and are things I want to talk with certain people about face to face.
So the fear thing: I have decided that fear (to me anyway) is a symptom of wanting to control the situation. The big question that came up today was am I pushing or attracting? Am I trying to coerce things to happen or am I allowing them to happen?
And one thing (which I actually thought about yesterday, but which still makes me smile today):
Someone has to do and be what I want to do and be. Why shouldn’t it be me? 🙂
Hope you’re having a great day.
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