Tag Archive: subconscious mind

Week 13: knowledge vs certainty

For the past few weeks it has felt at first as if the reading in the Master Keys was basically saying the same thing over and over. And then, of course, as I approach the end of the week I realize something that amazes me and totally makes me look at things differently.

I’m not sure how I got my mind onto the track that it went in, but I thought of something Mark said in the webinar on Sunday: it’s what you learn after you know it all that makes the difference”.

And then I thought of the people who every week seem intent on changing something in the readings: it’s too violent, it’s too wordy, it’s not religious enough, it’s too religious, and on and on.

A lot of those people end up dropping out, and I think the reason why is that they feel that they know it all and don’t need to sit with the material and see where in their old blueprint this rebellion is coming from and what it’s triggering in them.

Most times, when something jumps out at me like this it’s because it’s something I need to look at in myself. So I thought about this for a while and remembered a part a week or so ago where it talked about the various “fabrications”, as Haanel puts it, of the Law of Attraction, things like seances and such. He might put the current “The Secret” fad into that as well, but I haven’t watched it so I don’t know.

What I got out of that section at the time was that the motivation was off in each of these: the purpose was either manipulation or self-aggrandizement, rather than to find your true dream and calling with a focus on giving first, then receiving.

Haanel continually says: knowledge will not apply itself, and at first glance this seems really truly obvious. I mean, you wouldn’t hire a brain surgeon who had only read (ie, had knowledge) about how to do brain surgery. You’d want someone who had done it so many times he was certain of how it would go, certain of his or her capabilities.

But when you’re talking about the inside of your own head, it gets a bit more tricky than that.

Because you want to believe that you know what’s right for you, and ALL of that is coming straight from your old blueprint, who KNOWS that this is too violent or too wordy or too religious or not religious enough, and so on. Or, as I found out in my case, “knowing” that I had to figure out how I was going to do something in order to feel good about it, which this week totally backfired.

Last week I went ahead in full faith and signed up for the conferences in Hawaii and the hotel. At this point I did not have the money, and the only things I could think of to get the money involved depleting my current resources. But I signed up anyway, putting it on my credit card (because I knew that would work even though it wasn’t ideal but I was afraid I wouldn’t get to go), and I’ve had this on and off anxiety about it, even though if I talked to my husband about it he would probably be ok with paying for part if not all of it.

I’ve tried to make the anxiety go away, even trying something someone mentioned on the forums, which was adding “healthy and wealthy” to this one affirmation we have been doing, instead of trusting the text that the original affirmation was all that was needed.

So after the webinar I went to the store to get some things for the class, and when I went to pay, the guy behind the register said that my card was declined.

It was our joint sapphire Chase credit card with a huge credit limit. There was no way that the card was declined for buying a pack of index cards. But for a second, I panicked.

It was just that the guy typed in the last 4 numbers on my card wrong, but it really shook me up, and it took me about a half hour to feel right again.

I KNEW my card was perfectly fine. But deep down, for just a second, I was CERTAIN something had gone horribly wrong.

Why? Because my old blueprint is full of not very nice things, such as low self-esteem (you don’t deserve your dream), fear, and shame. And in that second, all the nonsense that I had been doing because I KNEW that the ONLY way to pay for the trip was for me to put it on my credit card when I didn’t have the funds at present (which breaks one of my personal rules, as I pay my card off every month) … all that came back to bite me. And although it was just for a second, it was a hard bite.

I now realize that I tried to shove the universe out of the way (because I knew the right way to do things), then added to an affirmation precisely in order to manipulate the universe into rubber-stamping my plan. I did all this out of fear, not calm, so what I was telling my subby was “fear, debt, credit cards, break your personal rules, fear”.

And what is a worse feeling (financial-wise) than having your card declined in a store with a line of people behind you the week before Christmas?

So be careful when you think you know how to do something (especially when someone is trying to teach you something that you said you wanted to learn). It’s what you learn after you think you know best that will make the difference, because it will be painful, and you won’t forget it soon. 🙂

How does understanding this help?

Because it works the other way round too. When you are certain of your connection with the Universe then you don’t muck about trying to move the immovable force. You clearly visualize what you want to get the mountain moving, and then you get the heck out of the way.

This week, Haanel has been trying to get us to be certain of this connection, through the daily sits. For me, it’s just been flashes here and there. But it’s a start. 🙂

Week 12 (part 2): a revelation

In my last post, I talked about my subby, and how it was just as good as anyone else’s.

Well, today during my sit, I had this revelation: my subby is exactly the same as everyone else’s: everyone who has ever been born, everyone who ever will be born, all the explorers and philosophers and magnates and adventurers.

I have the same subby as Alexander The Great, the same as the Polynesian canoe-men who crossed vast distances to see what lay beyond before there were compasses to guide them, the same as the ancient warrior women of the North, who they say fought with an axe in one hand and their baby in the other. I have the same subby as Socrates and Leonardo, as Elizabeth I and Marie Curie. And if there are beings out there beyond the stars who think, I have the same subby as they do.

When I realized this, I felt overwhelmed with it and began to cry. My subby is so precious.

It gives me new motivation to succeed with this mental diet (I’m up to two days at a time so far), so that I can be the person I was meant to be.


Week 12: let abundance in!

This week has been … the only word that even comes close is mind-blowing. But that doesn’t do it justice.

We began with an exercise which was the most amazing experience I’ve had in my 52 years here on this earth, and I’ve experienced quite a bit. I won’t spoil it with details for those of you thinking of joining the course next year, but I was able to tap into what Davene called “your true self” for just a few moments, and it was incredible.

Definitely worth it.

But there’s more!

The reading this week … I haven’t totally gotten my head around it all yet, but I’ll try to share as much as I can.

I’ve come to dislike the requirement to post the blog so early in the week, because I invariably want to write more at the end of the week as I feel like I finally understand some things, and then of course everyone just focuses on that last post and ignores the one with the meat in it that I spent so long working on. But that’s life, I guess. 🙂

Part 12 begins by reminding us to focus, to keep going forward, and to have “eternal vigilance” about our thoughts. Sounds a lot like the mental diet! 😉

But then, Haanel says something that I found very interesting:

There are three steps, and each one is absolutely essential. You must first have the knowledge of your power; second, the courage to dare; third, the faith to do.

Now, Mark J did something during the webinar this week that this reminded me of: he wrote out checks to people who had helped him with doing something (I forget now what, but it had to do I think with helping promote the MKMMA) and he said that this was creating a demand (!) for his future project to work.

So his faith to do created in his mind a demand for subby to produce the funds for what he’s up to!

(Now, I’m sure he has the money in the bank, don’t get me wrong. But I can tell that he’s up to something bigger.)

Anyway, back to Haanel:

… you can construct an ideal business, an ideal home, ideal friends, and an ideal environment. You are not restricted as to material or cost. Thought is omnipotent and has the power to draw on the Infinite bank of primary substance for all that it requires. Infinite resources are therefore at your command.

But your ideal must be sharp, clear-cut, definite …

He goes on to talk about people who are constantly going from one thing to another, and how “indecision and negative thought” can cause the loss of everything you’ve worked for. Then he says:

… the only real power which you can have is the power to adjust yourself to Divine and unchangeable principles. You cannot change the Infinite, but you can come into an understanding of Natural laws. The reward of this understanding is a conscious realization of your ability to adjust your thought faculties with the Universal Thought which is Omnipotent. Your ability to cooperate with this Omnipotence will indicate the degree of success with which you meet.

Basically, you got to get out of your own way. You have the overwhelming abundance of the entire universe at your command! But you have to decide what you want, you have to let go of fear, negativity, and stubbornness (I see people reject this whole thing because of a closed mind, which Haanel later calls the lack of “a corresponding vibratory brain cell prepared to receive it”), and you have enough faith to work at it. (remember the whole vigilance part?)

The law is that thought will correlate with its object and bring forth in the material world the correspondence of the thing thought or produced in the mental world. We then discern the absolute necessity of seeing that every thought has the inherent germ of truth in order that the law of growth will bring into manifestation good; for good alone can confer any permanent power.

Then he goes on to say something really interesting:

… the law of the attraction, which is another name for love.

… It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire, and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible.

This is why Mark keeps harping on having enthusiasm (the word literally means “possession by a god”!). Intense feeling attached to a thought gives that thought power, gets your subby going after it 24/7 with all 4 billion connections, taps into the Universal Mind’s infinite resources, and all that good stuff. (or bad, depending on the thought) This is how the law of attraction works.

Our sit this week seems to me to be focused on continuing to develop the knowledge of our power, which I feel is this: Since each of us is a fractal curl on the huge universal design, I have been given the same amount of power as Bill Gates, Martha Stewart, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling, you name it (ie. infinite). My solar plexus is just as good as theirs.There is no real reason why I can’t achieve my dreams as much as they have theirs.

I just have to learn to use that power, to get out of my own way, to become enthusiastic in cooperating with the Universal Mind, in order to let all that abundance in. 🙂

Week 11 (footnote): a tale of three carts

I feel as if I’m getting a better grasp of this week’s meditation topic, and I wanted to share a few last things before the week ends and we move on.

After I read part 11 in the Master Keys today, I wrote:

 Trust in subby

who is a small part of the

Universal Mind

All will be taken care of for you.

Fear blocks the process

so worry is


Nothing good can get to you.

If the Universal Mind

is the Creator

who brings all good

Fear is the


who stops all good

The cloud that hides the sun inside you.

Section 30 of part 11 of the Master Keys says:

You ask in what does the creative power of thought consist? It consists in creating ideas, and these in turn objectify themselves by appropriating, inventing, observing, discerning, discovering, analyzing, ruling, governing, combining, and applying matter and force.

As far as I know, humans are the only living beings who create ideas.

I had conversations with two women this week on different days at different times. These are women I consider friends. Very different women who have chosen different lives, but I spent an hour with each one in very different settings. Perhaps it’s the generation they are in, because that is the only common factor, other than the fact that the whole conversation on their end was full of negativity.

I think I am more sensitive to the feelings of others than most people, or else I’m not all that great at shielding my poor subby yet, because I had a physical reaction each time after hearing these things.. These women had put lives of disease, poverty, fear, and self-destruction into their carts, looking towards futures more limited with every year. It grieves me, because I feel they are worth more than that.

(Yes I suck at not having opinions. Perhaps this is part of my problem.)

I don’t yet have the words or the skills to talk to them about their carts, or even the wisdom to know if I should.

So what am I putting in my cart?

Physical health, specifically: quiet breathing, internal organs and teeth in perfect function and alignment, dark reddish-brown hair, muscles and joints which function perfectly, skin which is smooth and radiant.

Mental and emotional health: peace for my entire self (this is a big one), love, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-respect, perfect boundaries towards others. Courage, confidence, harmony, and intimacy with like-minded people.

A clean home, a lovely edible yard, abundant resources to have financial independence and security, with the ability to travel anywhere I want to in comfort. The joy of creation, using every talent I have to the best of my ability.

I feel as if my cart is looking pretty good so far. 🙂


Week 9: I am a seed

I was just mentioning on the forums that this has been the most peaceful holiday I have ever had. I love the Mental Diet — it makes it much easier to let the negativity around me just slide past and away.

I feel as if I’m finally beginning to enjoy the course without anxiety or fear, that my old blueprint is realizing that it’s no longer welcome, and that the new one is going to be the way things are going to be.

This week we’ve been asked to think of a flower that we really like, and follow it from seed to finished plant in bloom.

There are several things that struck me with this exercise so far:

  1. Seeds know how to do everything — they can make roots, stems, leaves … it’s all there
  2. As it says in the Master Key, the cells of a seed know what they want, and they know how to get it
  3. Seeds are always searching, first for the confirmation that they’re in the right environment, then for opportunities and resources … they send out roots, powerful things that will split rock to get what they want, always driving deeper and farther to find the best for the plant
  4. The seed is the center and the beginning of it all — it provides the energy for the rest of the plant to begin growing, and where the seed is becomes the powerhouse meeting of the root and stem, the very center of the plant
  5. First the roots, then the leaves. First the foundation then the building. First the gathering of resources then the expression … everything a plant does is to attract more of what it wants to itself … water, nutrients, sugars, insects for pollination

The seed to me represents all the possibilities of the plant in one tiny thing, sort of like the tiny thing before the Big Bang which created the entire Universe, only of course “lesser in degree”. Like my subby working in my solar plexus to create spiritual roots that go deep to grab hold of solid ground around me, the resources I need to grow tall and strong.

This week, we were instructed yet again as to how to take hold of what we need. Like the cells in the plant, I know what I need and I know how to get it. I look forward to see how it unfolds.


Week 8: the power of decision


This week, we’ve been asked to think of a real battleship, sitting there in the water, and how it came to be.

So at first I thought of the actual parts, how they had to be ordered, and shipped there, and how men had to be employed to construct the ship. But before that, the parts had to be made in factories, and those factories had to have supplies, and those supplies had to come from somewhere:

  • steel for the hull, the guns, the decks, the railings, kitchens, plumbing, fuel/water/waste tanks, and so on
  • food for the men had to be grown and converted for long-term storage
  • fuel for the ship had to be pumped and refined
  • electronics had to be assembled out of all the rare elements that such things require
  • plastics had to be formed
  • perhaps wood had to be shaped for various parts
  • bedding, mattresses and pillows for the men had to be created from cotton, and so on
  • and of course these things came from the earth itself

But before any that was required, someone had to design the ship, someone with a passion for designing battleships. This person had to know what was needed, how to make it all fit together, and how to draft a set of many blueprints that the builder could use for building the ship itself.

And how did any of these people know what to do? They each had training from teachers, from history, from experience. Each of these different lines of production and thought could be imagined as a web streaming back into the first men and women who observed that logs float, or that drying food allowed it to be stored safely for later.

But someone had to commission the architect to design the ship, and others had to see the need for its creation. Who were these men and women? Master strategists in the military, reporting to the Secretary of Defense, who saw that a battleship would fill a gap in their grand plans. They may not have even been on a battleship before (I’m not sure about all that), but their minds envisioned this battleship long before it ever came to be.

And of course, they each had training, experience, and knowledge of history.

But today I want to talk about choice and decision.

If you look back at the roots for each word, you see that they mean slightly different things. The root for choice comes from a French word meaning to perceive. The root for decision comes from a Latin word meaning to cut off.

At each step in the production of this battleship, there were many choices: what color to make a certain area, which suppliers to use, what size would be best for a certain sheet of metal.

But at some point, a decision was made, and this is how the battleship came to be. The battleship is real; it sits there before us. Therefore real decisions were made: first, to commission it, then to design it, then to build it.

Think about a decision you’ve made in your life. Perhaps you decided to go into a certain career, or to move to a different house, or to buy a particular car.

That moment when you decided YES I will do this action, you instantly CUT OFF all other possible actions. If you decide to move to Canada, you can’t also decide to move to Peru. You might make a later decision to move to Peru, or to buy a home there, but you can’t move both places at the same time.

You must decide before it can happen.

Think of a decision you really made, that really happened in real life. Remember the FEELING you had when you made whatever decision you made. This is important.

I believe that this act of deciding does something inside you, something physiological, that sets your subby into motion. You have decided: it’s going to happen; there is nothing anyone can say or do about it; the universe can either help or get out of your way.

This is, I feel, the most important thing in the world. Nothing happens without a decision. You would not be here without many decisions being made. You would not be who you are without many more decisions being made, by both yourself and many others who raised and sheltered you.

But what I find most pertinent to this course is that I need to have the same attitude towards my DMP (Definite Major Purpose, aka WHAT DO I WANT?). I must decide that this will happen, and there is nothing anyone can say or do about it, and the universe can either help or get out of the way.

Or else change it to what I really do want. But until I decide, nothing will happen, and that, I think, is why some people do this exercise and fail to get what they say they want. Like the person who waffles about where to live, they are waffling about what they want in their heart of hearts. They never decided.

Week 7: seeing more clearly

This week we’ve been doing a whole lot of things: making a recording of our DMP and various tasks, doing a “mental diet”, and of course, part 7.

Part 7 is very interesting because to me it lays out pretty clearly how to do this whole manifestation thing. I was able to make more improvements to my diagram and it seems as if I can understand things much better.

The basic idea is that the Law of Attraction works for everyone! You think about something, then your subby brings it to you. If you think about debt, fear, loss (as in worrying all the time), sickness, and death, then that’s what you’ll get. If you think about wealth, peace, abundance, health, and life, you’ll get that too.

It’s all about what you think of and picture in your life. Just as an architect pictures what he or she wants to build, then draws the blueprints, then creates the building, we picture in our minds first before our subby draws the blueprints and creates what we’ve been thinking of.

Each repeated [thought] renders the image more clear and accurate than the preceding, and in proportion to the clearness and accuracy of the image will the outward manifestation  be.

All you have to do to change your life is to change what you think about. This is what we’ve been working on this week.

Week 4: who am “I”?

This week’s reading focused on the “I”.

Most people think who they are is a race, or a gender, or a nationality, or a religion, or an ethnic group, or a sexual identity. Haanel says that we are not our bodies, as they are just tools of the “I”, just as much as the internet, our car, or the spoon we use to eat with.

Others think that who they are is their mind, but no, the Master Keys says, the mind is also just a tool. When you say “I think”, there is an “I” who is using the mind to do the thinking, the planning, and the acting.

So who am “I”?

The “I” must be something which controls and directs both the body and the mind

He goes on to mention that your “I” is not your personality either, as this is simply the result of your former ways of thinking, your old blueprint, if you will.

So what is the “I”? How can you find out who “you” really are?

He mentions exercises to train yourself to think, to strengthen your conscious mind — your World Without — so it can constructively address the World Within — your subby.

… when you have learned to control yourself you will have found the “World Within” which controls the world without; you will have become irresistible; men and things will respond to your every wish without any apparent effort on your part.

This is not so strange or impossible as it may appear when you remember that  the “World Within” is controlled by the “I” and that this “I” is a part or one with the Infinite “I” which is the Universal Energy ….

… referring to the Universal Mind. As I mentioned before, each of our subbies is an outlet to the Universal Mind.

So who “I” am, deep down, is my subby, who uses my mind and body to navigate and create my world.

Now you might be asking at this point, “So if I’m an outlet to the infinite power of God, why is my life so screwed up?”

The greatest and most marvelous power which this “I” has been given is the power tho think, but few people know how to think constructively, or correctly, consequently they achieve only indifferent results. Most people allow their thoughts to dwell on selfish purposes, the inevitable result of an infantile mind. When a mind becomes mature, it understands that the germ of defeat is in every selfish thought.

Basically, it’s because our conscious mind has abdicated as the “watchman at the gate”, and instead is preoccupied with Ebola, or the Kardashians, or the fall TV shows, or how the government is doing this or that, instead of being focused on anything constructive.

He takes pains to make it clear that he doesn’t mean we should give away everything and live in poverty, becoming what most people think of as “selfless”. I personally feel that this attitude is self-destructive and a attempt to selfishly garner pity and attention for how “holy” you are.

I think Haanel agrees:

Self-denial is not success. We cannot give unless we get; we cannot be helpful unless we are strong. The Infinite is not a bankrupt and we who are the representatives of Infinite power should not be bankrupts either, and if we wish to be of service to others we must have power and more power, but to get it we must give it; we must be of service.

He later says:

… we must be a channel whereby the Universal can express activity. The Universal is constantly seeking to express itself, to be of service, and it seeks the channel whereby it can find the greatest activity, where it can do the most good …

I find this seriously exciting! Remember all the little atoms in the Universal Mind’s “plastic mind substance”? Well, they are out there looking to see who is ready to do something good and useful so they can help!

There is so much in this chapter that I could be writing all day … but what we’re doing this week is basically a baby step attempt to turn our minds from our own pettiness and negativity on towards the ideals and aspirations that uniquely touch each of us individually, because these are the things which the “I” has always wanted to do, before the rest of the world with its ideas cast us into some cement copy of someone else (who probably isn’t either happy or doing much with their lives).

And this is only week 4!! I can’t imagine what will happen at the end of this. This whole thing is too exciting for words. 😀





Week 3: fear is the cloud that hides the sun

Doing this daily sitting shows me very clearly how many fearful thoughts there are running around in my brain.

Ideas and thoughts come into the brain, which is supposed to be evaluating them to see if they are true, then they are sent to the subby, which the Master Keys says is in the Solar Plexus.

The Solar Plexus is called that for a reason!

The Solar Plexus has been likened to the sun of the body, because it is a central point of distribution for the energy which the body is constantly generating.

This energy goes to the entire body, helps energize the brain so you can think better, helps keep the body going, and goes out to help and encourage others.

This explains why some people have what they call “magnetism” and seem to be able to effortlessly get people to like them, listen to them, and do things for and with them. And others don’t.

Since what we think with our conscious mind influences and directs the subby, and thus the Solar Plexus, constructive thinking is even more important:

Thoughts of courage, power, confidence and hope all produce a corresponding state, but the one arch enemy of the Solar Plexus which must be absolutely destroyed before there is any possibility of letting any light shine is fear. This enemy must be completely destroyed; he must be eliminated; he must be expelled forever; he is the cloud which hides the sun…

Here’s the bottom line:

Since the conscious mind is controlled by us

and the subby is controlled and directed by the conscious mind

and the subby is the outlet to the infinite power of the Universal Mind, which is THE creator of everything

then we potentially have control of “the unlimited creative power of the Universal Mind”!!

Which is very cool. It’s the best news you could possibly get, because it takes care of everything in life.

Once you really understand this (which I’m still trying to get my mind wrapped around, tbh) then you “have nothing to fear; fear will have been destroyed and you will have come into possession of your birthright.”

I love this last part … birthright means inheritance, what you are entitled to simply because you were born.

According to this you say clearly what you want, without fear, and subby does all the rest.

Figuring out clearly what you want and removing fear seems to be the two big obstacles to overcome, and that’s what we’ve been up to this week. I feel as if I’m making a lot of progress on both of these so far.

Week 3: musings, and a mini-rant

I’ve been having a LOT of anxiety the past few days.

I almost laughed when I read this week’s lesson, which seems to focus right in on fear.

I’ll take that as a sign that all this is normal.

One of the things I have been anxious about (as you know if you’ve actually been reading this) is the pay it forward part of the course.

Don’t get me wrong — it’s one of the most humbling things to know that total strangers paid my way into this, and I WANT very much to contribute.

It’s just that I started a new business about this time last year and well you know how new businesses can get. I’m about two grand in the hole right now with this one, and seeing as I vowed NOT to use any more of my dear husband’s money on my businesses (after a spectacular debacle back in the early 2000’s), the thought of yet another thing to pay for was stressing me out.

But somewhere in there I must have been telling subby I NEED MORE MONEY RIGHT NOW, because lo, and behold! the other day one of my stocks (that had been doing very well indeed) hit its stop loss, and I made $775 in one day! 🙂

Thanks, subby!

One of the great things about this course is the “alliances” which so far is a sort of jumbled up forum where people ask questions, make comments, and sort of talk to each other.

A lot of times, because it’s not really organized in any way, it ends up being a lot of the same comments and questions over and over. But it’s pretty fun, and helpful, as there’s always someone on there if you have something to say or need help with something.

Anyway, I made a comment about something (well, it was more of a complaint/grumble/vent) and one of the staff thanked me for being so honest. It’s the second time on these forums that someone has said that.

But this time, it’s stuck with me.

I guess almost dying will do that to you??

(I’m serious, I did come way too close to being dead back in 1998. Like actually in the ground dead.)

(here comes the mini-rant)

I have had a big case of WTF’ing F?? going on today.

Do they have a problem with people not being honest??

It seems to me that if you’re not going to at least TRY to be honest with this then why are you freaking here? Why take a spot that someone used THEIR money TO PAY YOUR WAY FOR, that could have GONE TO SOMEONE ELSE, if you’re not serious about this?

I mean really. I may be a totally messed up crazy woman in the eyes of the world, but I am DEAD SERIOUS about getting well and changing my life. And if that means doing my best to be balls-out honest with total strangers on the internet then so be it.

Be honest or go home. Or as they say, if you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

Love you guys.

Have a great day.